A chapter closed

As you all may know, hubs and I became first time foster parents on 6-20 (more on that later). At that point, I was working still working at the hospital Su/T/Th evenings from 9pm-1am, and my day job on Th/Fri/Sat, balancing 4 kids from 2, and my life was crazy overwhelming with way too many things to manage. So in Mid July, after much prayer and thought, and many emotional breakdowns, I felt it time for me to resign from working at the hospital. When my boss called me to tell me my co-worker was leaving (which I knew was coming- since she's moving out of state and getting married), I broke down crying on her and told her I couldn't do this anymore and sorry for the bad timing, but btw, I'm leaving too. She was shocked to say the least, but understanding. I told her that I could stay until they found my replacement, but no later than the end of August I had to be officially done. Initially it was a horrible idea, to say you're going to leave and then be stuck there for 6 more weeks. The first few weeks I was just stick a fork in me, I'm done. I had hardly any motivation to do anything and walked around in a fog. Then I got over myself and started telling my friends on different floors goodbye. People were honestly and truly suprised and some even said they were devastated. I was NOT expecting that. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was now very sad to be leaving, questioning is this really what I need to do. I enjoyed the work, and had built at least a dozen solid friendships/connections with my Nurse friends in different departments. Did I really matter that much? It was a battle of my heart and my mind. My mind said this is the logical thing to do, my heart said stay. My heart also yearned to be home with my family and ultimately that won all. 

When I said my final goodbyes it was SO hard to walk out of the building, a place that had been part of my life for almost 2 years, a place where I had 17 years previously spent another 2 years as a teen volunteer, a place where I had both of my babies, a place so near and dear to my heart. I am thankful for my new friendships, for all the beautiful sunsets and rainstorms I got to see walking in to work, I am thankful that this job gave me the opportunity to do things financially that we wouldn't have been able to otherwise, I am thankful that it brought out my persistant and determined attitude. My boss, the sweetest woman, gave me THE biggest bear hug I have ever had in my life. no joke. And was crying when I left. She couldn't thank me enough for all of my hard work. I'm sure you're all thinking sure, sure, it's just a job, and it's just medical records, but let me tell you this, I really and truly made a difference there, as trite as that may seem. I felt horrible leaving a place that was such an influential part of my life. So much so that I was at first depressed leaving and found myself missing it, but as time when by, I thought wow, this is really really nice to have all this extra time at home with my family. Hubs was so happy (which he finally admitted that first week) to have me back home. It's been 2 months now since I left, and my life in that respect is all back to normal. I'm back to normal sleep schedules, and even find myself feeling old, and going to bed by 10pm or earlier b/c I've missed out on SO much sleep the last 2 years from work. I'm in a more balanced mood and give me my all to my family and my other job, my heart and passion.

So the timing of all this works in God's most amazing ways... I gave my notice to leave in mid July, little did I know that at my other job, my dear friend, who was Director of Client Services had just been chosen to become the new Executive Director. It was announced at the end of July when I was on vacation. She called me to let me know, and I was thrilled for her. You see when they announced they were searching again maybe 6-8 months ago, my very first thought was, how cool would that be if she got the ED job, and I could have her job as DCS. So nothing official for me yet, but as of the last 2 months, I've been working 20-30 hrs a week pretty much overseeing the OP office on a PT basis. They are going to officially open the other position in January. They know my heart is there, and I can do nothing but hope and pray that this was in God's plan for me the whole time, my dream job. I just had to patiently wait and give up control of my life and what I thought was right for me, but all along God knew this is what I was meant to do.

And back to that house across the street that I'm obsessed with. Yeah... it's officially up for sale via the bank as of a few weeks ago (which just so happened to coincide with our foster kiddos leaving). Not on the market yet, but almost there. Those first few days it just killed me. Dreaming of it all. We could totally afford it, but couldn't realistically buy that one and still own this one without selling it first. But we could if I had this FT job as DCS. That's the kicker. So for now, I'm being patient as patient can be, and asking God if this is all in his plan, these major life events blurring into each other, and one door closing and the next door opening. Looking forward to see his plan in all of this-even if it means contentment in where we currently are.