And then there were two

So, I quit my job at the retail store this past Monday. I worked Black Friday, and it went well. Nice managers, nice customers, but my gosh, I wanted to rip my hair out after I folded what seemed like 1000 different clothes items. Very mind numbing. And people are so incredibly messy. Leaving food trash all over aisles and behind displays, opening packages and scattering contents everywhere. I kept thinking, I've worked to hard to not be back in retail again, and I'm definitely not getting paid enough to do this. So I had to take lots of deep breaths, and try and calmly reassure myself to not have a meltdown in the store. So I made it through Friday, then I was back again Monday night, folding clothes for 6.5 hours. Do you know how incredibly awful that is for any human being. And the fitting rooms were a disaster zone I refused to touch, and when they told me to go work on them, I had to take 5 minutes to cry and to calm my nerves and take it a minute at a time. It took everything that I had to not seriously run out of the store, I was that upset about it. And that's a really rare thing for me. The last time I worked true retail was almost 10 years ago. When I did Expo 7 years ago, it was a high end show room, and more professional work environment. So back to retail- in college I could barely last 2-3 months at a home improvement store, the customers were mean, the managers were incredibly lazy and worthless. I survived the pet store for several years off and on, and it wasn't bad. Still had issues, but it was tolerable. But I think I'd almost rather deal with nasty customers over folding clothes and cleaning up people's messes. I don't mind doing it at home, because it's on such a small scale. But my gosh, I was thinking this is so below my pay grade. I have a college degree, and I'm working here.

But on the bright side, I start with my hospital office job this next Monday for training. It's an environment that I'm comfortable in, I get to work independently and set my own hours. I can definitively say that I will never be back to work in retail ever again after my little fiasco. I have also never had a harder time with trying to figure out which job to accept. I applied to 3 retail stores- for seasonal positions, received 3 offers, and applied to a hospital- accepted, and local dr.practice and just received an offer today (a month later) that I had to turn down, because the timing took to long. I've never run into that before, or ever expected that to happen. I really wanted the job at the dr.practice, but it wasn't meant to be. It does make me feel better, knowing that my experience at aapc as a volunteer for 6 1/2 yrs really prepared me to be competitive in the job market in the health care related field. So after almost 10 years of pretty much being a SAHM, besides working PT off and on over the years, I'm officially a working mom. The hours combined with the hospital job and aapc, will probably equal 40 hrs a week. Now I just have to work on finding the right balance of work and family- especially since this job will be evenings. I can work anywhere from 10-40 hours with this new job. But I still can't figure out how many hours to work. Part of me wants to work the most I can, so we can get everything paid off sooner, but then I have much less time with family. If I worked 40 hrs a week, I could get all of our home improvement and car debt knocked out in a little over a year. Which would be huge for us. Then I could cut the hours way down, and do more like 20 hrs a week. I'm hoping to have a better gage of what I'll do after I go in for training next week, and see exactly what is involved. The full job description sounds pretty intense. So we'll see.

Another new job

So in the last few weeks, I've gone from having one part time job, to 3 part time jobs. I'm still at aapc and will stay there forever if they let me :) so that will never change. After checking with my bosses there first, I started looking into PT seasonal jobs to work just Nov-Jan to get a little extra income. I applied to 3 retail places, and heard back from all of them with offers, but just accepted one. So I've made it through the orientation and 3 days of "training" and running the register again. I would have never thought I'd make it back to the world of retail after it's been almost 7 years since I swore I never would. The place were I'm at, the environment is very positive, most employees and managers are women, and that makes a huge difference in avoiding potential harrasment issues, etc. like I'd had in the past. So lucky me gets to work the evening on Black Friday, here's to hoping I survive that. Then a few days after I accepted this retail job, I got a call from a local hospital where I'd applied to a few weeks before offering me a job there. So I'll be starting that at the end of November/early December. It will be PT weekday evenings. I'll possibly stay on with retail just on weekends through December if I'm needed. I'm so excited about the hospital job though, because I used to volunteer there in HS for 2 years, and am very familiar with the building etc.

I was planning on going back to work anyways when Mr.B starts all day Kindergarten next fall, but this timing just worked out better than I thought. Since it's evenings, I'll still have days free during the school year and summer to do activities together like we always have, and then Seavie will watch them in the evening. So with this job and aapc, it will be like having a 32+ hr week job. Since we now have a car payment for the first time in 6 years, we are adament about getting our debt payed off asap. Our goal is to be debt free of all c.c. debt that is 99% home improvement related and our car loan, within the next 18 months to 2 years at the most. Then start knocking out our mortgage. After all the debt is paid, I wouldn't have to work anymore, besides aapc, and would have the burden of debt completely lifted. I'm so looking forward to that day. To hopefully be completely debt free by the time we're 40. I can dream right? Looking forward to the 30's being much better than the 20's in regards to living more freely and being able to give more than we've ever been able to. It's the last step in Dave Ramsey's plan that I'm looking forward to the most- Give like no one else. I just can't wait to get ahead for the first time in our married life after struggling with finances for almost 10 years, I'm just ready for that old chapter to be done with and actually feel like an adult.

Youth Group Reunion

This past Saturday I got to attend part of my old church's 50 year anniversary celebration. I only went to the Youth Group Reunion that was specifically for my old youth pastor Keith. He was my youth pastor from 1996-1999, but also did Seavie and I's pre-marital counseling in 2001-2002 and was going to marry us before we "eloped" a few months early. It was so great to see him again, it had been about 7 1/2 years since we'd seen him, when he officiated my sister in law's wedding. It was good to see old friends and faces. We all had lunch together, then watched this hilarious video from 1996 Hutch trip-Erin L., you were in it too :) Then we had a time of worship all together and sang some awesome old school youth group songs, which brought me to tears. It was so amazing being back in the place that was so formational to my youth and early years as a Christian. I felt so close to God in that place again worshipping like I had done almost 15 years ago. We also had a time of sharing what has been going on in our lives the last 10-15 years. It was a great time to tell Keith that even though Seavie and I's life took a different turn, that God has used it all for his glory and his plan. It was a great afternoon, and I was so sad to leave, knowing that I most likely won't be back there anytime soon. I pretty much grew up at that church 1989-2006, so it holds many memories from the past.

Women and Body Image

I've been more than a little irritated with the ads I've seen on tv lately directed at women. Maybe you've seen them as well... specifically in regards to body image. Yoplait is a big one that bothers me, and I believe one of the commercials got pulled after so many complaints, but it's something like this... The woman looking in the fridge wondering what to eat- should she have real cheesecake or yogurt? If she eats the real stuff, then she has to work out at the gym for so many hours, and burn extra calories, etc. So she just settles for the yogurt. Another big one is Special K. The ad to me runs something like this...I have a party tonight and need to fit into this cute little dress, but wait I can't eat hardly anything all day or I won't fit in my dress. So I'll just eat a small bowl of Special K! The "Special K" diet was the first and only diet I tried back in 7th grade, seeing all those commericals, I was like sure I'll try that. One the cereal tastes awful, and two, eating any plain cereal 3 times a day, would make anyone lose weight, because there is hardly any calories or nutritional value in it.

In my lifetime, I've had friends that have done one of the following things: They'd look in the mirror and exclaim to themselves, and for everyone to hear, "I look so fat!" Of course they were not in the slightest bit, and were the skinniest little things ever. But my immediate response to that was, well if you think you're fat, then what exactly does that make me? Obviously I'm not as skinny as you. Should I be concerned with the way I look? And more times than not I was generally confident in my young body image, and began to see a pattern of insecurity in friends through the decades that were wanting attention brought to themselves by people saying " no you're not fat, or you're so pretty." Or, I need to lose 5 pounds, I'm so fat. Well no one is perfect, and at some point you have to come to a place in your life that you're comfortable with your body. The fat jeans, the skinny jeans, etc. My solution to this scenario is just buy a bigger size jeans and deal with it. Personally I've ranged between 2-3 sizes in my teenage/adult life, and I've come to be okay with the fact that I'll probably never be as skinny as I was in HS, and I'm okay with that.

When I was in 6th grade, I had a good friend who had a cabin next to my families at the Lake of the Ozarks. We'd been friends for years. This year in particular was more disturbing. My friend invited me over, we ate like queens and stuffed ourselves silly, but then she immediately felt guilty, went to the bathroom and made herself throw up, and then we had to go running for miles and miles so she could burn it all off. That was my first real exposure to an eating disorder. Bulemia. Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I had a roommate who was a Barbie doll. Long blond hair, tan skin, fashionable clothes. Sure she looked happy to everyone on the outside, but she was one of the most insecure people I've known. We'd go eat our meals together. And then afterwards, she'd stop off at the bathroom and be in there for a good 15 minutes, and then come back in the room and dry her face off with a towel, because she had just washed it off in the bathroom. You guessed it, she also had Bulemia. She would scarf her food down, immediately feel guilty, throw it up, and then say she had to go running or work out at the gym for hours and hours because she felt so guilty eating all that food. She did all these things, and by observing her that year we were together, I could tell that she had a serious problem. So this taught me some very important things. Just because these friends were beautiful and skinny, did not mean that they were happy. They felt so insecure with their body image that they had to work out constantly to stay at their ideal. Not that there is anything wrong with exercising, but if you live your whole life saying, I'm so fat, or I wish I was skinnier, and that consumes you, then it's anything but healthy. For body image and self esteem.

When I was a Sophmore in H.S. I went on my first date for Homecoming, and we went with my best friend and her date. For some crazy reason, I fell into the oldest cliche that was widely known that girls should eat salads on dates. So I ordered a salad. Did it make me happy, NO. Was I starving afterwards, YES. Did I ever do that again on a date, Heck NO. So then fast forward to Seavie and I were on our first date a year and a half later, and what did I eat, but a nice big hamburger. Maybe this is why Seavie said it was love at first sight :) Probably not, but he was SO happy that I wasn't like so many girls he knew, and didn't order a salad. Honestly it might have been a deal breaker for him, if I ate like a rabbit, always whining about my weight and body image. So the only other time in my life that I did the salad as a meal thing was several years ago with a group of friends at the Cheesecake Factory. Of all the delicious things to order from there, I just like my friends, ordered a salad. It was expensive and awful, and I immediately regretted giving into that long standing girl cliche of eating Salad. So never again, will I fall into that again. I don't know what it is, when women get together for meals, that they are immediately worried about their personal body image, and how other people portray them. Will they pick at their meals and appear to be happy, while starving on the inside, Will they eat all their meal without feeling guilty, and be okay with that, or will they have to face the judgement of others who can't believe a friend of theirs just ate all that food. Stop the pretending and the whining and just eat food that makes you happy. It will make yourself feel better, and maybe even your spouse feel better, because they don't have to hear you constantly say you don't feel good about your body.

Then there is the issue of comparison. Women generally feel heavier around skinny people, and skinny around heavier people. And then the mental comparisons begin. I have a recent new friend who is bigger than me, and said, oh I wish I could be as skinny as you, to which my response was, well I wish I could be skinnier. Why can't we all find contentment with our own bodies. I personally know that there is no way I could be as thin as some people I know, because I'd be all skin and bones. There is an actress on a new nbc show that we love, but the actress is tall, but looks like skin and bones, with no body fat. Unhealthily skinny. So why is it that our society is so incredibly focused on making women feel insecure? Whether it's the food they're eating or not eating, or the clothes they should buy, or friends they should surround themselves with. Making women feel like they're living in a totally insecure world. Women should not be living their lives that way. I personally have never really dealt with insecurity issues dealing with food, besides my 2 salad slip ups. If I'm hungry, I'll eat. I'm not going to whine to my friends later about how fat I feel, or how I need to go work out at the gym. I work out when I have time, but my world is not consumed with it. There is a healthy balance. I've been eating better, and eating less and have still lost a little weight, even with not being consistently working out.

Self esteem and body image are important issues to come to terms with in your own life, of how you view yourself. Especially if you have a daughter. They can pick up on little insecurities like that. When Grace was at a friend's b'day party last year, one of the little girls who was a gymnast, was eating a piece of cake. Just enjoying being a kid. Her dad was there, and saw it, and directly told her she should not be eating it,and that she would have to run an x number of laps to burn the cake off. She was 8! I wanted to slap him. Men, especially dad's should never bring up an issue like that to such a young child. I've seen moms do it to, at restaurants. Don't eat this, it has too many calories, or don't eat this it's not healthy enough. Where is showing the child that you love them and want them to be happy with themselves. Obviously it's good for them to learn self control and balanced eating habits, but public criticism of your childs eating habits is inexcusable. I feel sad for girls in this generation surrounded by tabloids and magazines of nothing but super thin women who appear happy. What is that projecting to them? Positive body image is something that is learned at a very young age. Moms and Dads showing love to their kids,not telling them they wish they were this or that. I'm glad I never fell into the trap of my young friend who always said she was fat, when she was anything but. So with all my random tangents of this topic, I'm just saying be yourself, don't worry about what friends or society views you as. As long as you're happy with yourself that's all that truly matters. I'd rather weigh a little more and be happy and content, than be super skinny, or always saying I need to lose 5 lbs, and living life miserably. But that's just me.

Children dealing with Spiritual Warfare

So with Halloween 5 days away, I wanted to write about this topic. It was on my mind yesterday when I saw/heard 2 disturbing things. First, my daughter said that a friend of her's from school was playing "vampire" at school and going around and trying to bite people. In general this little girl is a little disturbed, and I'm only saying that because I know her well. She is 8, her older sister is 10, and she has told me that they have seen the Twilight movies. The older sister has a dark quiet personality, that she's had a lot to deal with. I just can't get over the fact that their parents would be okay with them seeing these movies, when it's obvious to me that it's having a negative affect on their lives. The second thing was that Grace brought home a spelling list to organize 6 different groups of words that were all Halloween related. I'm okay with simple little things, skeleton, mask, scary etc. but some of the words on this list were s*ance, w*rlock, g*oul. Grace asked me what a w*rlock was, and I told her it was an evil magician that is not real. I was a little horrified at this assignment, so I wrote her teacher and asked to opt Grace out of any activity dealing with witches, ghosts,etc and to have an alternative assignment. Yes, she goes to public school, but this has never ever happened before. All 3 of her teachers previously have been either Jewish or Christian, and have never really pushed Halloween activities. Her new school doesn't have Holiday parties, which I've taken an issue with the PTA about. But I was shocked by this assignment, I wanted to throw it away, and tell the teacher she wasn't going to do it.

So this is where I'm coming from on all of this... anytime the kids happen to be in the room with us watching a family friendly tv show, and a horror movie preview comes on, I make them, close their eyes and plug their ears or leave the room. I do the same thing, and always have. Even on the radio with haunted house commercials, scare me to death. seriously. I do this because I have a very sensitive spirit, and it's due to what happened when I was growing up.

So when I was 5, I was at a friends house, and his dad was watching "fright night" the original one. I watched it not once, but twice. I had nightmares for months and months about vampires and werewolves and bodies in trashbags. To this day, I am scared to death of the 2 of the aforementioned things. So then in elementary school when I was about 8 or 9, my dad was watching "carrie", and said I could watch it with him. My mom would always say it wasn't good for me, but my dad vetoed her. I wish she would have fought for my spirit more. So that movie is traumatic no matter what age you are, and especially girls who haven't started their time of the month yet. Then a lot of stuff went on even in my girl scout group with "Christian" leaders. One halloween party in particular, they made fake tombstones for every girl, and mine gave me nightmares for months. It said here lies Megan, who choked on the strings of her pajamas. Awful awful idea. Then they played this game which also scared me to death, the one where they say, she looks sick, she looks pale, she looks dead, and then raise your body up to the sky. Totally messing with the supernatural in not a good way. I was terrified. Luckily my mom had a 6th sense that I was in trouble and came and rescued me from the party without me even calling.

In awana's when I was in 5th grade, we heard a story of a black cat that had been possessed by the spirit of a ouigi board. Once again gave me the worst nightmares and I'm scared to death of black cats as well. I was also told the B*oody Mary story (not at awana's-most likely in girl scouts) developed a fear of mirrors in the dark, which I still have today. Then I went through a phase in middle school watching horror movies on tv, probably when my mom was at work. They would scare me, but I would still be intrigued. When I was 14, we went to Disney World, and went to the Haunted Mansion- I was shaking and crying the whole time because it disturbed me that much. Then HS, saw the Scream movies (became afraid of bathroom stalls for a while), and the I know what you did last summer movies. I never watched a horror movie/scary movie again!

So fast forward to a few years ago, when I read 2 books by the Christian author, Frank Perretti. "This Present Darkness" and "Piercing the Darkness". I highly highly recommend them both to anyone who is interested in learning about the real world of spiritual warfare. It completely opened up my eyes to the daily battles that go on in the world of good and evil. How seemingly innocent things can slowly but surely take over your spirit, until it's too late, and it has a hold on your soul. Scary, but true. In my community bible study, we're studying Acts. Today there was a passage about this man whose name was Simon, and he was a sorceror. One of the verses we had to look up was in:

Deuteronomy 18:10-14

"Let no one be found among you who... practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in w*tchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist who consults with the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord.... You must be blameless before the Lord your God."

Obviously I don't know anyone who does these things, but I think it can apply to the tv shows and movies we fill our mind, and eventually our spirit with. Slowly becoming desensitized to the fact that God finds these things evil. Adults all make their own decisions and everyone has different tastes in what they like and don't like. But my biggest issue with all of this, is that as parents, we need to protect our children from these occult influences in the world. It may seem fun and happy, but it can be harmful to their spirit, if they are really sensitive to these things. Grace knows that all these things of Halloween are pretend. But in a sense, the evil is alive and thriving in the world, but she doesn't need to know the intensity of it now, just that God doesn't like those things. So no, I'm not one of those people who doesn't recognize Halloween, but I don't celebrate it either. The kids know the only thing we focus on is dressing up in a fun costume and going out to get candy. That's just my opinion. I've always had an overly sensitive spirit with these types of things, and I really feel like God has given me the spirit of discernment to tell what is good and not good, real and not real. I'm just trying to be the best parent I can be, and protecting my children from potential harm that could be caused to their spirit, by avoiding these scary movies, and anything occult. I wish that my parents could have guarded me from all of that, or taken a stronger stand for me. It's my turn to make a difference in the lives of my children.

Creative re-use of a vintage stereo cabinet

Got this off of craigslist for $10. I know I'm a big spender. It's a vintage Magnavox Stereo Cabinet with the record player and stereo still intact, with speakers on the ends.But we're going to take that all out, and turn it into our new entertainment center. It's going to be amazing painted antique white, with a distressed weathered look on the detailing. New hardware as well. Hubs is going to re-design the inside so it can fit our speakers and stereo equipment, and make the doors functional. Right now they don't open. So eventually, and probably not until next spring, we can put our yet to be purchased flat screen tv above this on the wall, so it won't take up as much space.

It's the perfect size- 30" tall, 19" deep, and 60" long. Same size as modern entertainment centers for flat screens, but very a very small fraction of the cost. There is no way that I'd buy the same thing for several hundred dollars, when I could get the same effect from this vintage piece for only $10.

This old stereo cabinet was from 1965. It has hints of Neo-Classical detailing as seen by the fluted ends and legs. Which is funny because our piano which is from 1977, is more French style with cabriole legs. And if I get the coffee table that I love, that would add some Mediterranean style in there. They actually blend really well, it's just kind of funny to me.

I just love adaptive re-use projects. Our soon to be repainted living room is just full of them. When we paint this piece, I'll get all my empty frames painted as well, so they'll be all ready to go for the living room re-do. Stay tuned for after pics!

Erin's Wedding- Texas Trip 9.10.11

A picture of my dearest friend Erin and I right before her wedding. We've been the best of friends since we were in 6th grade. I was overjoyed to be able to be there for her special day. She was a beautiful bride!

New look for the Living Room

So we finally took the door out on the E side of our living room, and replaced it with this new picture window (24"tall x 33"wide) that we designed to have the look of an old leaded glass window, but with modern energy efficiency. The piano will be moving directly under this window, after the drywall patching/paint is all done. And in honor of the piano moving, I thought it was time for some new decor for the living room....

The total of these 7 items was a whopping $22

1. Green vase (free with my turnstyles rewards)

2. Decorative box-something like you find at World Market ($7)

3. Yellow jar ($6)

4. Carved Walnut architectural salvage piece (purchased a few years ago)

5.Ruby Red vase ($5)

6. Bronze cross ($4 )

7. Blue bowl (free with my turnstyles rewards)

So I'm all about symmetry. Tallest items in the middle, with balanced items on each side. I also wanted to alternate colors (green, yellow, red and blue) with the brown/bronze items. I chose the 4 colored items as accent colors from the oriental rug that I got for the living room. With a mix of color/texture- the items have much more detail up close.

reflections of my car accident

So as most of you know, I was involved in a car accident, just down the street from my friend Jeanna's house on 9.9.11, when we were out of town. This week has been off to a better start. Last week I was feeling completely overwhelmed. So last night, Seavie and I were talking about the accident again, and he tells me all the names this woman who hit my car was calling me. From the moment she struck my car, she started cursing me. Once I got out of the car, he said her strains of profanity continued, like m.f, and dumb s. And her said her young teenage daughter kept telling the police that I was a dumb b. Um excuse me. How nice is that, honestly. They didn't even ask if we were okay. They just threw a big ol' scene.

Which made me reflect that of the few accidents I've been in, that they were all anything but normal. When I was 16, I had my very first car, it was my grandma's old 1986 Honda Civic. A hispanic man, who was 40, and only had a learner's permit, turned right in front of me when I had a green light, because he couldn't read the sign that said yield. My car was crushed up like a tin can, by his steel boat of a car. This was only going 35 mph. I had major whiplash, and bruised ribs, and took me several months to recover, physically. Mentally much longer, that made me jittery driving. So my poor car was completely totalled.

So my dad bought me a big tank of an 1984 Suburban, that would protect me in my young driving years. Within a few months, another incident. I was driving to work,turned R on the green light, and this small pick up truck comes flying over the hill going 65 mph in a 45 mph blowing through a red light, and instead of rear ending me, goes to the L side of the car, and up on the median, and side swipes my car. He steps out of his car, and low and behold he's wearing a long black trench coat (in summer time) and has about a dozen different piercings in each ear. I start yelling at him, because seriously, didn't this just happen to me a few months ago, when a man in a car pulls up in front of him. I guess the guy in the truck that just hit my car, almost just hit this man's car earlier down the street. So they get into it yelling and arguing, when who should drive by but my dad and sister on the way to the bank, when my sister says, isn't that M's car? So my dad's there, and all the guys are yelling at the crazy guy in the red truck. Luckily I had a mere scuff across my car, but had I still been in my Honda, I would have been seriously injured, and most likely gone to the hospital (no air bags in the 80's cars)

Fast forward to 14 years later, and I'm getting cursed out by some grumpy old lady in a van. Driving in a construction area she wasn't supposed to be in, and the pd didn't record construction cones that caused accident in their report, and they won't return my insurance agent's calls. How nice is that. Thank goodness I took lots of pictures, that clearly show they're lying and it's not my fault. So with all that said, those are the negative things of these life circumstances.

Here are the positive things that I've been reflecting on this last week. When I was 16 in my first wreck, I was just a few blocks S of my church youth group building. When people started leaving, they drove by, saw what happened and stopped to make sure I was okay (Seavie was one of those people), even the assoc.pastor showed up and prayed for me while I was shaking and sobbing. The 2nd time, I was just across the street from where I worked, and less than a mile away from my house. My dad, was there to protect me from this crazy guy, and make sure I was taken care of. Just last week, the accident was as we were turning onto Jeanna's street, only a block away from their house. Jeanna and James walked down to see us, and comfort us. James drove Seavie and I around town to get some things taken care of, and Jeanna called rental places for us. She also contacted friends from their church there who so graciously let us borrow their car to drive another 250 miles down to TX for my friends wedding.

So throughout my feelings of being depressed and overwhelmed from all of this last week, this specifically came to mind. One of my very favorite verses of all time.

Psalm 23

1	The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2	He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3	He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4	Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5	Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6	Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know being in a car accident, is anything but walking through the valley of death, but more than anything, being in a scary place in life. I always pray for God's protection whenever we're out driving. So through this, I've learned that even though bad things happen, God promises to always be with us and never leave us while we're going through those times. To protect me from all this spiritual warfare of the mean spirit of this woman, and to even go as far as praying for her. Something I was never able to do when I was 16. I was angry and very bitter for a long time. I'm angry at her, but that anger hasn't consumed me,like it has before. Everything that has ever happened in my life, has happened for a reason. Now I'm just trying to see what the reason for all this was.

My newest project

Empty frame wall art... I've been looking for fun and relatively inexpensive ideas to do for wall art for our living room. We're going to be re-painting the living room soon, and need some new decor. So I came across this idea on a google search. Basically all you do is mix different shaped frames, with an equal number of plain, versus decorative and mix them up into a design. I layed mine all out, so it's balanced visually and with the patterns etc. Hoping to spray paint them this week with an Antique White. Not too bad for about $20 worth of thrift stores picture frames :)

Summer Vacation 2011

This last week has been very eventful, and just wanted to write it all down before I forget the fun moments we had as a family on our vacation this year.

We left to go to Table Rock lake on 7/16, I worked that morning, and Braden went to an awesome Star Wars party right before we left. We hooked up our gps, and we were ready to go. Everything went really well, until we were maybe 30 minutes out of town, and low and behold hit a giant coyote, I kid you not. I thought it was a deer, and we were driving my car, which is low to the ground. So I was freaking out.Luckily it clipped the very edge of my car, and with it went the fog light flying off the side of the highway. Good thing it was already broken from when we bought the car. ha. Seavie went back and picked it up, and found the coyote with a broken leg. Serves him right from sprinting across the highway right at our car. Everything remained calm all the way to the lake, until about 10 minutes til we arrived. We had eaten dinner at Braum's and the winding hills didn't sit well with poor Mr.B's tummy- chocolate and french fry yuckiness all over himself and his car seat. Add that to the fact that the coyote left a nice suprise on the front of our car. Let's just say that my car stunk. So when we arrived to the lake it was full scrub down mode of the car seat, the inside of the car, and Braden. We spent Sat. night watching tv and the kids had an early bedtime after the whole ordeal.

Sunday was nice and quiet for 1/2 the day as my sister in law and her family didn't arrive until about 2-3 pm that day. We just hung out and snuggled with her sweet new baby. And the kids went tubing that night. We had pizza for dinner and celebrated Grandma's 81st birthday.

Monday we had time out on the lake and at the pool. Lots of tubing with the kiddos. That night we went into town to a super touristy place (which I'm not a fan of) to meet my in laws friends for dinner. The food was awful-cold and chewy and my sister in laws food wasn't cooked all the way. We ended up with a free meal, so that made it a little better. The friends we met gave us free passes to "The Track" which is a fun place for kids in Branson that has bumper cars, and race cars etc. Us 4 adults, each got to take a kid with us and go on go carts on the wood track that goes up 4 levels, and is really a blast. It was a great night of nearly free food and entertainment. Then on the way home I got car sick, or at least very woozy- since I also do really badly with windy roads. So when we got home, I went straight to bed.

Tuesday morning, had a super yummy breakfast of biscuits and gravy courtesy of my brother in law, who is a great cook. Then we all headed to White Water for the day, in Branson. Seavie's parents paid for us all, so another day of free fun! We had a blast, and rotated out during the day who took kiddos on rides and had kid free time. My favorite was a super tall 4 lane slide that you ride on a blue mat on your stomach on the water. It was a blast! The fountains in the kids splash cove area had freezing cold water which felt amazing after being in the hot sun all day. We all got thoroughly fried in the sun, despite all of our sunscreen. We even had a cool cabana to hang out in all day. Dinner was nachos and margaritas. Yum!

Wednesday morning, everyone woke up early except for me. I was completely exhausted from the previous day, and so I slept in until 10am. Rare for me. So I missed out on them renting a Pontoon boat for the first 1/2 of the day. Which I was totally okay with, because it gave me about 4 hours to catch up on design shows on HGTV, which I don't have the luxury of watching at home, since we don't have cable. Dinner was Spaghetti.

Thursday morning we had a big breakfast of eggs, toast and juice. After we loaded up in the car, after about 3 miles, Braden started complaining that his tummy hurt. He was fine for a while. Stupid us for following the gps through the most winding lake roads in the world. He started complaining some more and then started spewing his breakfast all over himself. It was awful. Luckily where we pulled over on the side of the road, the owner was coming down the driveway and said we could use his water pump that was next to the car to clean off. Which resulted in Braden getting a cold shower on the side of the road. He seemed to be better. But then several miles out started complaining again. So we pulled over, this time he had time to get to the bushes. Seavie knocked on the door of an old bungalow and explained the situation to the little old woman who lived there, who was kind enough to give him some paper towels and a cup of water for Braden. This time we got a towel from the trunk and put it under and around his car seat just in case. He fell asleep maybe 15 minutes later and was out until we got to Joplin. We stopped for lunch at Braum's and then drove through the town to see the tornado damage. It was completely devastating running E and W of the main strip in town. The highschool and homes along that area were in complete ruins. It was very shocking to see it in person. After that we headed to Tulsa,OK to see my grandma and we got in town around 3pm. We just hung out for the afternoon talking and had a tummy pasta dinner and brownies for dinner.

Friday was a fun day. My grandma took Seavie and the kids and I to a place called Incredible Pizza. Which is kind of like a Power Play here where we live. It had a small movie theatre showing "Where the Red Fern Grows", a giant arcade, mini golf, bowling, go carts, bumper cars, and an incredible food buffet, which was the yummiest-in 3 different retro dining rooms! We got a deal on the buffet that came with a $5 gift card, so the kids each got $12 worth of game cards to play on which lasted them quite a while. They had a blast!!! We headed back home so the kids could rest for a few hours. That evening, my aunt took the kids to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie, and they loved it. Seavie and I went out on a mini date night to Applebee's for some dessert and drinks since we were so stuffed from lunch still. Then we got back and talked with my Grandma and Aunt for a few hours before bed.

Saturday morning we headed out to the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. It was about 10 miles N of where my Aunt and Uncle live. They had aeronautical exhibits from local Tulsa history as well as space displays. The kids got to sit in an F-14 fighter jet, like the one Tom Cruise flies in Top Gun. They got to use the robotic space arm, and do a simulated flight launch, as well as fly a plane in an air tunnel. The highlight of it was the Planetarium show. For those of you who have never been to one, it has a domed ceiling, where all the stars and planets are on the screen. It went through a tour of the solar system and the planets, and Grace's eyes and mouth were wide open. She said oh.my.gosh. this is so cool. She was on top of the world excited! We watched a show about kids traveling through the solar system in their cardboard rocket. It was fun. After the museum we headed to the Oklahoma Aquarium. It was pretty crowded, but definitely worth it. It had all types of organized sections and exhibits. The kids loved the jellyfish, and the nemo fish. Braden got to touch the shrimp and a star fish. There was also an area where the sharks were that they had a domed tunnel that they were swimming overhead. They absolutely loved it! After that we all went to a yummy little Mexican restaurant called Ted's. It had great salsa and cheese dip-complimentary, and free sopapillas for dessert. I thought my grandma was crazy for wanting to get there at 4pm, but by 4:30pm it was packed. I guess people in OK eat dinner a lot earlier than they do in KS. After dinner we headed back home and hung out and talked.

Sunday-today. We left this morning after a nice big country breakfast courtesy of my Aunt's cooking and headed back to KS. Pretty non eventful trip headed back except for the check engine light coming on in my car right when we left town- almost 100% sure it's the exhaust system, which we already know we need to fix. Then right when we got into town, there was construction backed up on the highway and it took for.ev.er to get home. Then we got stuck behind the train by our house. And finally we were home. The kids went down for a long nap. and I just enjoyed being home. I thoroughly missed my sunflower shower and my foam mattress. Small luxuries that I've had to go without the last week. So now we're all settled back in. The dogs were thrilled to pieces to see Seavie again, and spent some time inside cooling off. Early bedtime for the kiddos, and it's movie date at home for Seavie and I. It was a great vacation and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

We had the best time ever with my grandma, talking and hearing her stories. My Aunt told us that she has slowed down since last Fall, and that was really evident. Her memory is staring to slip a little, and her handwriting. She has a hard time getting up, and is on oxygen. It was sad to see her not her normal self, but she was still her spunky self through it all. We got lots of great pictures with her, and of our trip, which I'll try and post soon. Keep her in your prayers, she's finally going in to have surgery to have a pacemaker and a defibrulater put in on 8-9-11. She told me if it doesn't go well, she'll be in heaven, which made me cry, because I would miss her so much. But also happy knowing that she would be going to a better place. I love my grandma so much and it was a great last few days spending some extra time with her.

7.4.01

10 years ago today was the best Forth of July imaginable, but first, fast forward to the week before, on my 20th birthday. I was so excited for what my birthday present from Seavie would be, because I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to propose soon. So what do I get on my birthday, but a gold watch. I was not a happy camper, and told him how upset I was. So then imagine my suprise a week later... I had to work that day, and my evil boss at Lowe's would not let me go home early, even though I told him I had dinner plans, and we were not busy. So what did I do, but clock out early, and seriously run out the front door when they weren't looking. Like I was really going to stick around, and miss out on my dinner date with my sweetie. So I had just enough time to get home, get cleaned up, and put my cute little brown dress on with my platform brown strappy shoes. Seavie picked me up, and had a dozen long stemmed roses for me. He took me to eat at "The Bristol" at Town Center Plaza, and after dinner, before we had dessert, he came over to my side of the table, got down on one knee, and opened up the ring box, and asked me to be his wife. I was so excited, and immediately said yes, and we kissed and held each other for a few minutes. After dinner, we stopped by his parents house, and they had stepped out, but had written me a sweet letter, welcoming me into the family. We then packed up a blanket and drinks, and headed out to SM Park for the local fireworks display. Which was just amazing. I teased him later on that he should have proposed at the fireworks display which was very romantic- he said he originally was, but was so nervous at the restaurant that he proposed then instead. It was still very sweet.

I was thinking this morning, has it really been 10 years, but yes, it has. We had dated for almost 3 1/2 years, and then after getting engaged- had an 8 1/2 month long engagement. I think 6 months or less would have been great, but it all worked out okay in the end, because we're counting down the months to our 10 year anniversary next spring!!!

Devotion of friends

My dear sweet friend Beth and I became friends our Sophmore year at KSU in our Construction Methods-Interior Design Class. We spent those next 2 years together in every ID class, and many many late nights working on studio projects. You really get to know a person when you spend so much time together. We shared so many fun times together there. We've kept in touch the last 11 years, through we've moved apart, and started our own seperate families, we've remained the best of friends.

Beth made the trip up for my 30th birthday party-drove almost 3 hours, just to spend 3 1/2 hours with me, and then drive 3 hours back late at night, to help me celebrate my birthday. That to me is absolute devotion and dedication to a friend!!!

Beth, our friend Christi, and I all have our birthday's just within a week apart, so every year since college, we've always made it a point to remember each other's b'days and send cards, or a small gift. This past weekend, was Beth's b'day, and so on Friday, I happened to get off work early, and made the drive to help her celebrate. Christi was there with her family, and we hadn't seen each other in 4-5 years, but it was like no time had passed at all. It was great being there together with 2 of my very best friends. It didn't seem possible that it's been almost 12 years since we were the young college girls. It was so fun seeing them interact with their families, and see them as mom's. They are still so very true to the women they've always been.

I cherish our friendships, and we've been through so much together, it has brought us all together. They have always been genuine, down to earth, always true to themselves, never fake around other people. That is what I love in a friend.

So I had a great mini weekend visit with Beth, and got to stay up late chatting about old times, and current times. Then drove back the next morning to see my family. It was a wonderful weekend :)

My new job...

On May 10th, I got an e-mail from the organization that I volunteer for, saying that they were looking to hire someone for a position called "Client Services Assistant". I read through the job description, and hours, and applied for it immediately. I had been waiting so long for this opportunity and God placed it directly in my lap. I had my interview on June 2nd, and then found out I got the job on June 8th, and started on June 17th. I work Friday's 8-4 and Saturdays 7:30-11:30am. So 12 hours a week, which is the perfect balance between work and family.

It's pretty much a continuation of what I was doing there before, as a counselor- doing PT's, and helping out clients. When the Director of Client Svcs isn't there, then I take over as the staff member in charge, overseeing volunteers and client care. Which was actually the case for 3/4 of my first days that I got to be in charge, so that was fun! It comes with a lot of responsibility, one that I appreciate, and still seems a little surreal, that I'm on staff there now. I think it's still sinking in. I even have a staff e-mail, but my computer is not behaving there, and so it's a work in progress getting it all going. I love all my co-workers and friends there, and it has been a great last 3 weeks.

I also love that God has given me all the desires of my heart right before my 30th birthday. This was just one of them, and one that I am so very thankful for, and thrilled that it is in his will for my life.

My 30th Birthday!!!

I celebrated my big 3-0 birthday a little over a week ago, and am just now getting to write about it. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, beautiful sunny sky and warm sun. I started the morning, by getting to sleep in, and then Seavie got me a chocolate long-john donut from QT-my fav. I put on a new fun outfit, and did my hair and make up for the day. Seavie's grandma came over to watch the kiddos, and so I got to go meet Seavie for lunch at Mi Ranchito. Yes, I got sung to, and wore the giant sombrero and was totally mortified. After that, I headed to the L.Store for some beverages for my party the next day- and wasn't carded :) yay! I then headed to a place called "The Nailery" and got a spa pedi/mani for only $58- best deal in town I think, and they did an amazing job. Then headed out to do a little Antique window shopping to speed the time along, and then came home to see the kids by 4pm. I was so stuffed from lunch, that I didn't eat dinner until maybe 10 that night. I got to sing, and lead a song with the band, and it was a great time :) Best 30th Birthday ever!!!

The next day, I had a Girl's Night In birthday bash with some of my dearest friends- Tasha, Beth, Kristin,Teryn, Heidi, Jessica, Christina, Christine, Chelsea Hib, and Melissa. My 2 friends Katy and Katie couldn't make it, as well as a few others. It was a great time. We had my cheesy chicken enchiladas, chips and dip, fruits and my apple dip, lots of brownies, strawberry margaritas, sangria and wine. Lots of good times for all. I felt so blessed to have so many friends care, and make the effort to come help me celebrate :) They showered me with unexpected gifts- which were all great- thank you's out this week! I love the card from Teryn- her side note was, "Happy 30th- and at least you don't drive a mini van :)" She's one of the few that shares my sentiment on that, but it made me laugh.

The day after, I was suprised by my in-laws with a Nascar Ride along at the local Speedway. 3 laps going 165 mph, and it was amazing! I love going fast, and racing cars, and so this was so much fun!!! Some of you would be suprised to learn that I love Nascar, Monster Trucks, Demolition Derbys and driving big old SUV's. Mostly all thanks to the awesome 1984 suburban that I had in HS that would blow any sports car away any day. I have that to thank for my no mini van mindset. Sorry friends :( Then, since my parents were out of town, my in-laws threw me a family party, and we had Nachos for dinner and cake. It was a great Birthday weekend.

I also know I'm getting old, when I can't stay up late 3 days in a row, wake up for work, and be exhausted the next day. It's all starting to catch up to me now...

The whole turning 30 thing still seems so surreal, but a new phase in life that I am so excited about. My dreams are all coming true, from what I thought my life would be at this point- playing the piano, singing again, even starting up photography again. Being more bold in my every day life, and focusing on things that really matter, and trying to forget all the petty stuff.

Being the person I was for so long in my youth, and I think some of that slipped away in my 20's but I'm back to being the person! Here's to the next decade in my 30's and all that is has to bring.

Life is too short

Last Thursday, Seavie's Aunt went to the hospital for kidney stones. Things took a turn for the worse, she had a heart attack, all her organs started to fail, and things were not looking good. Her family thought it was the end. But then a slight glimmer of hope, and her doctor's put her on dialysis, and she started slowly but surely getting better. A week later, she has mostly recovered, alert and bright eyed with the determination that she has always had. We went to see her Wed. night. Her husband of 50 years was there- he hadn't left her side the entire week she was there. He swept her hair back, and brushed her cheek with his hand, and told her he loved her, and you could see she loved him in her eyes too. It brought such tears to my eyes... watching high school sweethearts, who had nearly lost each other, have such a sweet embrace. It made me think, that could be me and Seavie someday. My life would fall apart if I were to lose him. It brought me comfort though knowing if I was sick someday, that Seavie would be by my side taking care of me and loving me through sickness and in health. It made me realize that life is too short to take little things forgranted.

Then last Sunday a massive tornado tore through Joplin,MO. Complete devastation to 1/3 of the town. People without homes, or any material possessions. People losing loved ones. Everything just completed obliterated in the blink of an eye. This was another, life is to short moment.

How would the rest of the world react? How would you or I react to losing everything?

As a society, we place so much value on our standard of living. Having the best house, and the nicest car. Newest and most stylish clothes, or furniture or appliances. Going to the best schools, going on the most lavish vacations. Comparing our lives to lives of others. Then in an instant.... it's all gone. Everything that we hold dear, ripped from our lives, left with nothing. I'm not a very worldy person, or at least try not to be. We have nice things, but there is nothing that I own, that I couldn't live without. If I had to leave today, or lose it all, I would be okay. I'm not attached to all these things, even though they're nice, and provide comfort. I think of Luke 12:34- For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I don't ever want to be so consumed by things of the world, that I lose track of my eternal purpose.

Don't get me wrong, my heart completely breaks for the people of Joplin. They did nothing wrong that brought this natural disaster into their town. I'm just trying to say, it's how you would deal with a loss of that nature, how would you react. I would be completely devastated. I would call out to God, and say why me? But I would put my trust in him to get through the very hard times. This whole thing, makes me want to live life each day, like it could be my last. Cherishing all the moments with my kiddos and husband. Building friendships and relationships that glorify God. Having a servant's heart and helping people in the community. Knowing that God is in control of my life and that his will prevails. Never taking things forgranted...

Grace's last days of school

Grace had a fun filled last week of school, and made lots of good memories. She had awards day, field day, zoo field trip day, movie day, and an all school party day. I know it sounds like she probably didn't learn very much the last week, and maybe she didn't, but that's okay. She did get the most amazing week with all her best friends at school, that it was their last time to be together until 5 years from now, when they go to middle school.

Grace finished up her last day of Second grade on Tuesday. It was a bittersweet day, since her school is now closed permanently due to school budget cuts. She got her teacher a nice little gift, and made her a card. They had a half day, so Braden and I walked up there to get her, one last time. We said goodbye to her K, 1st and 2nd grade teachers, since they'll all be going to different schools next year. I'm so sad that Braden won't have the opportunity to have them as teachers when he goes to K in a year. They are all amazing women, and women of faith. We played at the playground, and when it started to get chilly, and all the crazy storm clouds came in, we got home quick before we got rained on. Before we left to go for ice cream, Grace broke down crying, poor little girl was so upset about her school closing and her friends leaving, she just sobbed. It was so hard to see her little heart break. I assured her, she would get to see all her friends over the summer and for her b'day this fall, and that cheered her up. I suprised them by taking them to Peachwave, which just opened by our house. They were so thrilled! It was a nice way to end a bittersweet day! I can't believe my little girl will be a 3rd grader this fall! and my little man in Pre-K!

Weight Loss Update

So I did my final weigh in for jazzercise yesterday morning. I had officially lost 8 lbs in the last 12 weeks, bringing me up to a grand total of 13 lbs lost since January. For about a month my weight was pretty constant within .5 lb, but then thanks to my zoo field trip day walking what seemed like 5 miles, and carrying a 20 lb.backpack of lunches, I dropped a pound shortly after. I was a little sad, because the jc scale, and my scale at home, read out slightly different. They both showed that I lost only 2% fat in the last 3 months, not 12% like I originally thought. Their scale measures the same exact weight as mine at home, but reads the percentage at a higher rate. I'm just going to assume mine is right :) 2% is better than nothing I guess. I feel a lot better, and can see the difference. Since the beginning of the year, I've gotten in 70 hours of jazzercise, and walked

31 miles!!! The walking every week, with working out definitely helps. And it's nice to get out and get some sun, instead of being inside all the time. I still have about 20-30 lbs to go until I'm back to what I was about 2 yrs ago. Here's hoping I get there maybe by the end of the year, or early next year!!!

Falling of the bandwagon

As you all know, my goal for this year was to be a super mom, and get our food budget under control. Jan-Feb, and part of March? were pretty good, but after that, not so good. I've been using e-mealz, or should I say, printing off the weekly meal charts, but not using them. Most of the recipes sounds pretty good. My biggest issue, is that I.do.not.like.to.do.dishes. and I.don't.have.a.dishwasher. For me to keep my sanity, it would be a very convenient thing to have again. So girls, be glad you at least have one. I would make all the food all week, and then have massive amounts of dishes to do. I claim all my problems would be solved by having a nice dishwasher, and a slightly bigger food budget. The overall amount spent has been pretty much under the budget amount, with the exception of one month. I just need to get my butt in gear and make the recipes, even if I might not love them, but it's cheaper than eating out more often.

Walk for Life and Mother's Day weekend

I had my walk for life saturday morning, and it went great! The weather was absolutely perfect. I ended up raising $1820.00, and my goal was $1000. I was completely blown away by the generous donation of a friend from bible study. It made me look forward to the day that we can be debt free, and give so much more freely to organizations, church, friends in need, like she did. Also 2 awesome things from the walk. Since I was the very first person to register this year, I got a free Chris Tomlin cd from K-love :) and I was entered in a drawing to win a free Garmin nuvi (garmin donated one for the walk), for getting over $1000 in donations..... and I WON! yay!!! I have always wanted one, and now my wish has come true. The only time I plan to use it is when we go out of state to travel. Since I pretty much grew up where we live, I know my way around without a map. My sister in law walked with me, and was very brave and pushed her 2 boys (probably 70+lbs in a double stroller) for 2 miles, at 9 months pregnant. I offered to push it for her, but she said she was okay. I think it all worked out okay for her though, because she just delivered her sweet baby boy, Holden this morning. He was born 3 weeks early, but was perfectly healthy, and just a beautiful baby.

This was probably one of the best years for Mother's Day yet. In the past, especially when we first got married, it was a touchy issue, mainly for me. That in the last 2 years, we've decided to keep the day of, just for our family of 4, and celebrate with our moms individually the day before. I think it's worked out great. My sister and I took my mom out to lunch Saturday at Mimi's Cafe, and had a good time talking with yummy food. Then we went to the mall afterwards and I had a Forever 21 gift card from Christmas my parents had given me, that I used to buy 3 cute new summer tops. I can't remember the last time I bought something at the mall, but I was in love with this store. The dressing room area, was beautiful to say the least. And the jewelry area, just perfectly designed. We went out to Seavie's parents for dinner and spent a few hours out there, and had a really good time. My mother in law was sweet as can be, and loved her present (which isn't always the case) but I was so glad everything went over well. The next morning, day of, Seavie made me breakfast in bed for the first time ever. I've only been asking him the last several years. We went to church, and then came home, played in the yard, with the dogs. The kids took a 4 hour nap, so it was a nice chance to rest and relax. Then we went to dinner at Granite City, which kids eat free on Sunday 5-close, which we didn't know, but was awesome to have that taken care of. And then Peachwave, my new love, for dessert. Since they just opened, we had a $3 off, plus a 30% off discount they were having for mother's day, so we got $10 of ice cream, for only $4. It was amazing. Totally loved it over orange leaf or green apple.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I feel so blessed to be the mom of an almost 5 and 9 year old. I'm so glad that God gave them to me, to be their mother.

A time of transition

So I just got back from a school tour of Grace's new school... It was completely different than what Grace has been used to at the traditional 1950's school that she's been used to the last 3 years. It was built in 1990, and is SUPER contemporary. Think glass blocks, faux foliage in the planters (which reminds me of Skate Land in the 1980's/early 90's), mauve, blue and white, checker patterns. The biggest change is that it has pods, which the school I went to from 2nd-5th grade had pods, but not like these. These pods are open, meaning, classrooms have no doors, the outside classroom wall is open at the top 2 feet, and all the group of 4 classrooms in each pod, connect to each other at the front of the room. Interesting. The interior designer in me is thinking, wth were the architects thinking when they designed this!?! Even the bathrooms are open- at least the handwashing area is. But aside from my issues with the design, the school flows really well. The classrooms are more modern, and triangular shaped, so you can have more fun layouts than the traditional square classroom. The principal seems nice, but I really prefer her current principal better. He's more laid back, and not as self-confident, over assertive. The PTA people are super perky peppy, way more energetic than I'm used to, so that will be fun.ha.

It's all starting to sink in that Grace only has 7 1/2 days at her school now, until school is over. She still has field day, and a tour of the new school, and a zoo field trip. The school is also doing an all out party for the kids the 2nd to last day of school, which will be like a big farewell party. I love her school now. It's close enough to walk, smaller size-275, compared to 625 next year. what? The teachers are amazing and down to earth. The kids are great. It's our own little community. Grace will be losing her very best friend to the other school, because of boundary lines, so that makes it rough. I think I'm just as sad as she is about changing schools. To me it's just unecessary change. Gotta love school budget cuts. not. So as mom, I have to suck it up, and make the best out of it, and get my happy face on for the change. It is a nice school, and she will have several friends there, so it could be much worse. The only bad thing that could happen would be, being convinced to join the PTA. That would just make me feel like an old mom. But that's just me :) Those are my thoughts for the day.

Master Bedroom Reveal

Here are the pics (finally) of our Master Bedroom remodel. After 2 months of work off and on, weekends, and spare time, our room is all done. We had decided that this really needed to be done before we worked on any other project, and so used part of our tax return to pay cash for the entire project. The new trim, and crown molding took the bulk of the budget.

First up we re-painted the ceiling. This had been done when we moved in almost 8 years ago, but the kilz has slowly worn off, and the yellowed smoke was coming through again. So now the ceiling is bright white once again. We took all the old trim several months ago, so the next step was for Seavie to do all the trim work. Just like with the Living room and Bathrooms, he custom made the door and window profiles to match the historic trim upstairs. After the trim was done, we painted the trim. After letting that dry for several days, we painted the walls- 2 coats to cover up the lavender.

Below pic is a close up of the layered crown molding- which is you take a tall decorative piece of base trim with lots of detail, and turn it upside down and the crown molding goes right on top of it. Seavie had lots of fun with that, and I promised him he never had to do it again :) but he was the one who suggested it to begin with.

An up close view of the fireplace wall bump out and trim detail for ceiling and doors. Seavie built a 2x4 wall right on top of the mantel, to make it look like the chimney. And the funny thing is that there really is the original chimney to the house right behind the fireplace mantel (it has been enclosed in our closet-because it wreaks of old cigarette smoke every time we would turn on the attic fan)

My pretty new chandelier via craigslist for $15. woo hoo! For those of you who saw the brass chandelier post, Seavie was not loving the idea at all, and so I ended up selling it, and made a $20 profit from the new shades that had come with it. And bought this awesome deal instead! And just yesterday sold our old ceiling fan in the room for $65, so that goes towards the remodel budget.

I did keep the ceiling medallion though that came with the brass light, because it's the perfect size and it's basically free. We had bought one from HD, and they used to be wood, and now they are cheap plastic, so we returned that, because I was ticked off about the poor quality.

My faux fireplace wall... I bought this antique mantle several years ago at a local antique store for $90. Which is an absolute steal for an antique. Most start around $200-300. It has the original square nails and everything, and I would date it around 1870's or so. It was about 18" wider, but Seavie had to cut it down to fit on our wall space, and then he re-assembled it for me.

The antique pressed tin piece, I got from the same antique store around the same time frame for $15, also a great deal. People want a small fortune for that stuff. Seavie spray painted it for me with an oil rubbed bronze spray paint to match our hardware in the room.

And my sweet antique baby picture- was from the same antique place as the fireplace for $40, and was a splurge at the time a few years ago, but it is just the cutest thing. It has the original frame, and glass. I just love it. I also have 2 antique photographs-one of a young girl, and one of a young boy- $2 a piece, same store.

The tile around the pressed tin is slate mosaic tile, and it has blues, reds, greens, grays. It was $24 for tile, so very cost effective.

The 48" french doors were actually free- from my brother in law- they were pretty ugly when we got them, so Seavie had to sand, paint and patch them to look like they do now. So we just had to pay the cost for new hardware.

And last but not least my old nasty floor vent is looking brand new with a fresh coat of oil rubbed bronze spray paint, it fits right in.

My window walls... It was quite the dilemma after these windows were all done and pretty, how exact we wanted to lay out the furniture. I ended up not wanting anything blocking the windows, because in my head, and I wanted each curtain pulled to the opposite side, so it became a focal point.

The drapes are from BBB, sheers for $5 at Target! and the curtain rods at Lowe's. The rug we already had before, so no cost there.

Also, not pictured above the dresser is an old window that has similar glass panes like the french doors that I received as a b'day gift a few years ago from the in-laws. We took some extra fabric from a throw that came with the bed set, turned it inside out, so the background is brown, with blue damask. And staple gunned it to the backside of the window. And hoila! free wall decor!

My Bed wall... The comforter set I got about 1 1/2 yrs ago with a bunch of Christmas money. I had originally seen this exact set on craigslist for $30, but it had already been sold, but she was nice and told me where to find it at BBB. Thank goodness for the 20% off coupon :)

For those of you who don't know, Seavie built our entire bedroom set for a woodworking project for one of his college classes. I switched out the hardware on everything about the same time I bought the comforter set, changing the brass to oil rubbed bronze. The exact hardware we wanted was on clearance at the time, and it was maybe $1 a piece, compared to $3+ a piece, so that was awesome.

My funky lamps, I also bought from craigslist, about a year ago, for $5 a piece! They are 70's milk glass with a funky pattern on them. Seavie didn't love them, but they're growing on him.

They didn't come with lamp shades, and it had taken me a whole year to find ones that would work with them. Luckily for me, retro lamps and lamp shades are in right now at Target, and so I got these cute white silky drum shades for $15 a piece. So total $20 a lamp, which is still much better than paying $60+ for an imitation retro piece.

The stained glass- also free! These came from a beautiful old English Tudor house that my parents owned in St.Louis about 25 years ago. They took them off, and they have been in the basement and barn ever since. I rescued them last year from my parents barn, not wanting them to rot away. I think they look perfect centered above the bed.

So thus describes our room remodel on a budget! Only real cost involved was trim, paint, hardware, and curtains/curtain rods. Everything else was free, or already paid for several years ago. I really enjoyed this project, and love being in my room now. For the longest time I just despised it, because I had this picture in my head of how it would be some day, and it came out just like I had hoped it would.

Also, in adding the historic details back in- trim, lighting, old pictures, fireplace, it has helped bring back some much need character to our beloved Farmhouse. You see our room was the original Parlor of the house, and it would have been the fanciest room in the house. Even in 1887. So by incorporating old with new, I feel like I have achieved that goal!

I hope that this will also give my friends inspiration of what can be done with a space, even on a budget. And you know that you have a good friend (me) who is an Interior Designer, and I always love creating floor plans, design ideas, if anyone would like help with anything :)

a week of worship

Palm Sunday at our church was so powerful. The last 4 days, I've found myself immersed in easter related worship songs. I heard this beautiful song on k-love the other day, and had to stop and write the words down right away.... Living he loved me, Dying he saved me, Buried he carried, my sins far away, Rising he justified, freely forever, One day he's coming oh Glorious day!!!!

My other favorite is "Come to Jesus" (not sure if that's the right title). But this songs gets me in tears every single time. Especially the very last verse when it says, "Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, and Live." Braden loves this part of the song, because he's asked me how he'll get to heaven someday. And I explained it, that from what I had read, that the angels would carry him there. He thought that was so cool. So he sings this last verse with all of his heart, and it melts my heart. My sweet little man asked Jesus into his heart on April 1 of this year. He was so excited for weeks on end to learn more about Heaven, and how Jesus could come live in his heart forever. It makes my heart overjoyed, to know that I will see both of my children in heaven with me some day (Grace asked Jesus into her heart when she was about the same age)

We are finishing up our 9 month study of the book of Revelations, and it has been so incredibly powerful. Right now we're at the very end, where it's describing the New Holy City/ New Heaven. The scale of it is to be 1400 miles wide x 1400 miles long x 1400 miles tall. With streets of gold, as clear as glass, and each of the 12 gates made out of a single pearl. Precious jewels in every color of the rainbow, and a river of life. No sun or moon. God is the light. No more darkness. I was sitting in the backyard the other day staring way up into the sky, just trying to imagine the immense scale of this beautiful city that my family and I will get to live in some day with God and Jesus. It was such a powerful image. So many powerful songs we sing at church come from the words in Revelations as well.

Last night at 9 pm, I got a call from the director of my women's bible study, and she asked me if I could lead worship this morning. I of course said yes, but then had the task of picking out which songs would be appropriate. Since we are finishing up Revelations, I picked out Revelation Song, and for Easter, a contemporary version of Hallelujah what a Savior. As I was going through all my different song books that I have, those 2 just jumped out at me as perfect for this mornings worship. I was so incredibly excited for this opportunity that I could hardly fall asleep last night- I think I finally did around 1 am. Everything went great this morning, and it was so incredibly powerful being up there singing my heart out and playing to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It was beyond words, I was overjoyed for so many reasons. As of today, I've officially agreed to be a part of the worship team for my Community Bible Study group this next year. So I'll get to play the piano and sing on a more regular basis :) Can you see me jumping up and down?!?

Music has been a passion of mine since I was very little, and something that brings me so much incredible joy. Joy that I didn't realize how much I missed until last year when I started singing again (at my old HS teacher's farewell- think Mr.Holland's Opus).

But this whole week of singing praises has put me in such a worshipful mood, as we move towards this weekend as we remember Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, and rising again on Easter Sunday. It has been a week of joy so far, and pure happiness. I've been a nicer mom, and soaking up every moment with the kiddos. When my focus is on Jesus, everything else falls into place. I wish everyone a very happy and joyous Easter weekend with their families- to focus on the real meaning, and not society's meaning- the easter bunny& the excessive commercialism that comes with it.

(sorry to hold out on the room reveal post- the finishing touches will be put together this weekend-curtains, decor etc. hopefully pics to come early next week :)

my personality

A few weeks ago, as part of our small group bible study, we individually took personality tests. My top 5 were in this order: Empathy, Individualization, Input, Responsibility, and Strategic. I was amazed, that this test got me to the T. The descriptions completely matching with my personality.

Empathy: sensing the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in other's situations. Sensing the mood of an individual without them saying a word. Good listener. Feels things very deeply.

For those of you who know me well- You know this is just who I am. I feel so much for other people sometimes it hurts (my major fields of interest before college were: Veterinary Medicine, Nursing, and Social Work) My heart has been aching for the last year, for my 6 friends who have lost their sweet babies due to different circumstances. My heart hurts for clients I've seen experience great loss. For children growing up in poverty and for those less fortunate. I have this ability to read people- in conversations, or body language. Knowing what is really at people's hearts, despite the outward motions- for good or bad.

Individualization: intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. Get joy from helping people in need. Read topics of various interest. See things from other people's perspective.

This is something that is what makes my job as a counselor more helpful (and interpreting family and friends sometimes) Knowing people's background and how they grew up, and life choices they've made-which have shaped who they are today. I love to read and research new things on numerous topics, and store that info away in my head to use someday.

Input:Love of reading, and gathering information. Gravitate towards serious conversations. Avoiding small talk and gossip. Based on all info collected, decide what is and isn't worth remembering.

I love debating issues with people (politics, societal issues etc). I'm not a fan of small talk that is on a more insincere level. I love really getting to know someone for who they really are and what they stand for. When I become passionate about a certain issue, I don't ever really back down. I'm not easily swayed by other people's opinions, or a go with the flow kind of girl. I'm not a conformist, or necessarily go with the popular choice. I am in individual capable of making my own decisions. I am very independent and strong willed.

Responsibility: Taking ownership of what you say or do. Committed to values such as honesty and loyalty. Very dependable. Attention to detail, doing things right.

I am the typical oldest child. Always trying to be the responsible one. I've always seen myself as dependable. It drives me nuts when I've worked in past jobs to see people (and managers) less responsible than their title provides them. My attention to detail has turned me into a little ocd the last few years. Especially when paperwork and organization are involved.

Strategic: create alternate ways to proceed. Knowing the exact words to use in a conversation. Factor in different variables that could lead to possible outcomes. Pinpoint problems and solutions.

I can't thing of "strategic" without thinking of the word "strategery" as they would make fun GWB on SNL. I find myself being more this way in parenting. Thinking of what could be all of these various outcomes if we found ourselves in certain circumstances. Seavie calls me a worse case scenario person, because I always think of the worst that could happen, so I could prepare myself for the worst. To live one day at a time, knowing that just that is a blessing.

So that's me in a nutshell. This test was really re-affirming to me, to sum up who I am, and who I've become as an independent almost 30 yr old woman.

Keeping Fit

So since I wrote last, I bought myself a handy dandy digital scale 2 weeks ago that measures muscle/fat percentages, calories needed etc. I always swore that I would never buy one, because then I would never want to eat. This was a huge bargain at Aldi for $18, and is as accurate as the expensive one at jazzercise, so I think it was a great investment. I've been weighing myself every Friday morning when I get up to see how much I've lost. This week I've lost 2 lbs, the week before 1 lb. Bringing my total up to 10 lbs lost since the beginning of January. And the happy thing, is that the fat % has dropped by 8.3%. My goal by the end of May is to get to 20% lost. I've also been trying to walk up to Grace's school and back, which is about 1.5 miles round trip +/-. So I'm hoping to walk up there every day when the weather is nice 4 days a week, for 6 miles walked. It's nice because it's extra exercise, but I can't lie and say that my body feels so sore and tired at the end of the week. I do have a lot more energy, and I've been able to fall asleep almost right way, which is a huge thing for me. That's all for my fitness update. The next post will be on our master bedroom reveal. We're painting this weekend (fingers crossed)!

Dance it off

I've been doing great sticking with my new years resolution of working out more. For the last month, I've been able to work out 5X every week. To get myself motivated, I even signed up for Jazz it off, which is like Biggest Loser, except for Jazzercise. It runs from March through May, and the winner gets $200.00 which is a good motivation to have money to use for a new wardrobe. So far I've lost 7 lbs, since January, which isn't too bad. My goal of 30 lbs. by my b'day probably won't happen, but if I keep it up could be accomplished by this fall hopefully. I have a ton of energy and am much less stressed out, which is a good thing. And I've actually been able to fall asleep at night, which used to never happen right away. And eating less, walking more etc. it's been great!

2 of the sweetest kids

We were at my parents farm last Saturday to celebrate my dad's b'day. He had a friend from work and his 2 kids that camped in the back SW section of land overnight to collect firewood. His story was heartbreaking. He's in his early 30's and he has 5 kids. His wife was a meth addict and abandoned her children, and so now he's a single dad taking care of all of them and working a factory job. The 2 oldest, which were 7, and 6 came along. Their names are Billy Ray and Dixie Bell. They are such southern names, but the kids were the cutest things, so polite and friendly. The house they live in doesn't have a furnace to heat it, so their dad has to constantly cut firewood to burn in their stove to keep them warm. It was amazing seeing every day things through their eyes. They were so excited to have fresh fruit, and had never had string cheese before. Ice cream was a rare special treat, a long with special goodies. They were amazed by the book library my parents have and wondered if they must be rich. Dixie asked to play the baby grand piano, because she'd never seen one so fancy. I told her to go for it, but she was to afraid to touch it. They just craved attention. So we played board games together, and Grace and Dixie played dolls, and Braden and Billy played legos and tinkertoys. Watching the kids play together really warmed my heart.

It made me cry thinking of these sweet kids growing up without their mom who had abandoned them. It made me want to give them everything they needed and more. The little things my kids take forgranted that they would be thrilled to have. Extra clothes, toys, food. It brought me back to thinking about Seavie and I possibly doing foster care, or adopting a brother/sister sibling pair. To be able to share love and affection and a home for children who don't have those things.

We have talked about the topic, but need to discuss it further. The biggest hold up is our vehicles, which are paid for, but can only really seat 4 people. So then we'd have to get things paid off, and only then be able to buy a new (used) car. All of these things that would go quicker if I was able to go back to work. Which is only 1 1/2 yrs away!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

My heart aches for these sweet kids we met this weekend. The kids have been praying for them and their siblings. They both have a heart for helping others in need. I've talked to them about it, and they both have said they'd be excited to share their room with someone. We'll see what God has in store for our family!

9 Year Anniversary

Seavie and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary yesterday. It was a beautiful warm, sunny spring day, which was amazing. So much nicer than last year when it snowed, and snowed. This was the first time in 3 years, where we didn't have an actual whole weekend together kids free for our anniversary. I told Seavie as nice as it would be to get away, I'd rather use that money to get our bedroom done, because I have to deal with that on a daily basis. So we made reservations at J.Gilberts, and it was absolutely amazing!!! My sister has gone on and on about how good it is, so we had to try it. The atmosphere is so romantic, total ambiance, and just overall very well designed! Lots of stone work, and dark mahogany seating, low lighting.

(Compared to Red Lobster, which should be self explanatory. But if you haven't seen the interior of the OP location, the Interior Designer needs to be fired, and banned from ever designing. The food is good, but atmosphere totally lacking)

The funniest part of the night was that our waiter was a guy I knew from HS. He actually had a locker by me for 3/4 yrs, since it was alphabetical order. I found this hilarious, and quite rewarding to have someone who is a little arrogant and cocky, and really pay no attention to you in HS, have to serve you, and basically be at your command. It was fun :) He actually did a great job, and was very courteous. But non the less it was entertaining. (This exact thing has happened 2 other times in the 9 yrs Seavie and I have been married, by different guys with the same attitude I knew in HS, and at different restaurants-which makes me laugh every time)

The meal was amazing, and the steak was to die for! Yum. And since it was our anniversary, we received free champagne. It was just so nice to be able to get all dressed up and have a night out away from the kiddos. A big thank you to my sis who watched the kids for free and took them to Orange Leaf for dessert. They loved it.

It's hard to believe that next year will be our 10 year anniversary. We're already trying to plan out different ideas of where we want to go or do. It works out really well that our anniversary is so close to spring break (and it was over spring break when we got married), that taking a trip for a week works out great, because the kids are off school and can stay with the grandparents. So in the mean time just trying to save up money for what will really be our Honeymoon. Our first one was only 2-3 days in Eureka Springs, and then we went straight back to school. It was not the ideal situation, but worked for the time. I know for our 15 yr, we want to go on a carribean cruise, and then for our 20 yr, we really want to go to Scotland/Ireland. That's the bonus of having kids at 21, and 22 like we did, because we'll be empty nesters by the time we're 43.