Five Love Languages

We just finished up reading this book for our small group at church, and it was a lot of fun. I was amazed that when Seavie and I took the quiz we actually got 20/30 same answers. So our love languages are pretty similar, but I think it also helps that we've known each other almost 12 yrs. I don't know what we'd do if we weren't so compatible. We met a lot of other nice couples in our class that we didn't know previously, and it was a little entertaining to hear all their fun stories.

Through this study, it's also been interesting observing others relationships, mainly our parents. Spending a week with the in-laws and then 2 weekends in a row with the parents, can definitely be a test of patience for both of us. We love our parents dearly, but are also so glad for some space.

This year more than any other, I've come to notice those little quirks and temperments of our parents. Things I like, or can't stand. Take my parents-my mom is generally quiet, and rarely one to raise her voice. My dad gets upset when the house isn't clean, or lunch or dinner isn't ready on time. Growing up I butted heads with my dad-I'm very stubborn and strong willed, and wasn't about to be told what to do, when I disagreed. Basically I didn't back down about the things that I felt so strongly about. I'm still like that today :) So my dad's upset that dinner isn't ready and my mom starts getting all nervous. I tell my mom, "why don't you tell him to make it himself- you're not the only one who knows how to cook in the house," and I also made a point to tell her that if Seavie ever dared to talk to me like dad does to her, that he knows that I would probably smack him. My mom gave me the funniest look-like would I really treat my husband that way. My mom isn't a doormat, but I've never heard her make her opinion known. So I'm sharing this with my new small group, as well as how I can't stand controlling men(which my dad isn't-he just has a temper) and with clients who have boyfriends that way, and the leader said, "do you think that has something to do with how you were raised and your relationship with your dad?" and it totally made sense. My dad was never abusive-just a bad temper and lots of yelling-a little intense at times. I love my dad. I told my mom I can't wait to see them both together 24/7 after they retire, and see how much more loving they'll be too each other. Bold comments from me that day, I'd never said anything like that to her before. But it's the truth.

On the in-law side, I'm not a fan of critical attitudes. Or critical people in general. Having a critical spirit can totally steal your joy. Not that they are critical all the time, whether they mean to or not, it just happens. I'm not as patient with this criticalness as I used to be. I used to brush it off, but now it's a little irritating. I'm not a child at almost 30, so I don't need all these issues picked apart anymore. If they have something critical to say, it would be better to keep it to themselves.