2013

I just have to honestly say, thank God 2013 is over. Between the devastation in September of our old FD and FS going to new homes and the fallout that came before, to the numerous health ailments- migraines, vertigo, eye strain from work, to not one but two nervous breakdowns 2 weeks apart in November/early December, to going from the top of the world with a contract on our dream house to rock bottom in the same day, was anything but perfect. Add to that some very serious strained relationships and betrayal by co-workers and that just makes for a super fun time. Things that I'm so hurt by, I don't know when I'll really be over it.

To elaborate: the dream house across the street, the 5 bedroom 2 bath house with 1 acre lot with 3x more space than our house went up for sale-cheap. We toured it, fell madly and deeply in love with it. We had the earnest money check, made an offer and it was countered, all within what we could afford. 1 week prior my dad had promised to help us out with a small loan to make it work, since we still own our house they needed extra reserves. So my mom the night we signed the paperwork called and said, no I'm changing my mind. Which made me hit rock bottom and took me about a week to get over it. There was no other way, we had to let the house go. Then right after Christmas someone made a cash offer on it, and now it's gone. Yes, it could be back in a few months if someone flips it, but non the less it really sucks. I had peace about this whole thing even through my breakdown, but that didn't make it better. Everything and I mean everything had fallen into place before that.

As for work, everything has been downhill since October. The Banquet went great, and I did an awesome job getting all the financials taken care of and processed. The new accountant was sorely lacking on organizational skills and tried to throw me under the bus a few times. Which has led to me returning the favor. I know, you're saying wow, how un-christ like of you. Well no one is perfect. Then fast forward into the dream position opening at the OP office and my boss (who has been my good friend for the last 8.5 years) wanting me to be her official "personal assistant" which was the biggest slap in the face, punch in the gut imaginable. She wouldn't be where she is today without me and she knows it. I told her no, and then she had the nerve to tell me that oh, I don't know if this changes your mind, but btw your other job is going away. NO it doesn't change my mind. So then on top of all that, she says what if you don't get your dream job? And then she gave that job to someone else- a co-worker who has hardly any experience with it. How is so much hurt possible in such a short amount of time, but it was brutal. So there are many unsaid words on my behalf for the time being because believe it or not I can have a sharp tongue. I'm dreading tomorrow like non other. My new "boss" is the most type A, intense, suffocating person to be around. Very patronizing, very controling and micro-managy. I feel like I'm being punished being stuck in an office with her, all because I've done nothing but step up for myself. What I've learned from this experience this last year, is that I would rather be the boss, or my own boss. I don't like other people telling me what to do, unless we have a mutual respect and same work ethic. I was severely taken advantage of in regards to workload, pay etc that hurts very deeply. I honestly wish I would have kept my job at the hospital and given up on the non-profit that I've been a part of for 9 years, I have been hurt that badly.

So "Change" is my word of 2014. There will be many things changing going into this year. I can't go into them now, but will write about it as soon as it becomes a reality.