So I've been more than a little out of touch with keeping up with my blog, which I had just 9 posts last year- yikes!, when I had more than enough things to write about. A lot has happened since I last wrote in August about my kids going back to school. Mr.B turned 6 in September, and Miss G turned 10 in October. Hard to believe my kids are growing up so fast. It only really took me about 3 months to adjust to the reality of my new normal every day. The end of November marked the one year anniversary of when my Grandma Billie had passed away... still miss her everyday. My sister had her first baby right before Christmas, and so there is a new baby to love in the family. In regards to the car accident of Sept.2011, one passenger has settled, but the driver and other passenger are still not resolved, but they are in negotiations. Stay tuned to the details after it's all said and done. Trust me- it's been a beyond crazy story. I'm now working 18 hrs a week at aapc, and 12 at the hospital for a total of 30 hours a week, and being a stay at home mom all in one.
The biggest change for 2013 will completely rock our world in more ways than one... we're in the process of becoming Foster Parents. Tonight is our 8th out of 10 classes of the 30 hour required state training. Then we'll have a home study done by this spring and receive our license. Lots and lots of paperwork that is for sure.
I just finished reading an amazing book, which I highly recommend called, "The Foster Parenting Toolbox," by Kim Phagan- Hansel. It is mainly all first hand accounts of stories from foster parents, former and current foster youth. I have another one called, "They're all my Children: Foster Mothering in America," by Danielle Wozniak, which I just finished up reading as well. It's more from an Anthropology/Sociology point of view. A little outdated from mid-late 90's, but very relevant information still. I've also read, "A Guidebook for raising Foster Children," by Susan McNair Blatt, which has good basic info. They're all things I've found from our local library. God has put this call on my heart to Foster over the last 2-3 years, and on Seavie's heart just since last fall. We've seen so many hurting children in our surrounding community, that it's just not possible for us to turn away to God's calling on our lives. I know I'm eating my words of sorts, because I can remember writing a post several years ago, getting irritated by some things I'd seen in our neighborhood, and then upset with a friend at church for saying maybe that's where our mission field was, and I completely shut that out. How God works in my heart makes me laugh sometimes- especially when things like this come full circle. A few years ago, I wanted to help, but I kept coming up with excuses- we don't have enough money, or a big enough house (1300 sq.ft), or a big enough car. I wanted this new found freedom from having my kids in school all day. I wanted to do things for me (basically I was being selfish), and now that I've had all that the last 7 months of freedom of sorts, I really miss my kids and the day to day with when they were little. God has put a calling on my heart of Motherhood that is stronger than any other call that is in my life right now (being a working mom). There are so many things that are more important than the trivial things that we as a society love and obsess with in life- facebook, meaningless blog posts with current trends, foods, politics etc., cliques. None of that matters when there are real issues in this world that need addressing. I am willing to sacrifice all those comforts of my ideal world if it means helping out kids less fortunate. My kids will learn to share their room with another child, we'll get used to sharing only 1.5 bathrooms for potentially a 6 person household. We will continue to live simply and love fully.
Yes, there may be days where I yearn for more space (like a few weeks ago when I found out the old house down our street would be coming up for sale soon- 4 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, potentially hardwoods, 2 car garage, 1 acre yard, 2000 sq feet, plus a huge basement with 9' ceilings, and solid stone foundation that is 1200 sq ft by itself- all for around $140K. I will admit that made it SO hard. One because I'm completely obsessed with old houses, and two because I need to be content with what God has given us). We will work with what he's given us- our attic space, and basement spaces will be finished sooner than later, and that will add more usable square footage, making our house closer to 1664 sq.ft. Not that any of that matters, and it's not a comparison. We're going on 10 years in our house, and it works for us. We only keep what we need, and donate/sell the rest so we don't have to store it. Less clutter=happier me, and less to store and put away. Sorry for my random segment there...
Right now I'm just looking forward to what the next few months bring, our first placement(s), possibly job adjustments. Trusting that God has just the right kids for our home when they are in need of care. We have 6 chairs again at our kitchen table, and it just feels right. Not so empty. Spring break week will be filled with cleaning at my house. Getting furniture in the kids rooms moved around, and cleaning out and clearing out space for the new potential foster child(ren). Our ages are under 10 for a girl, and under 6 for a boy. Preferably a sibling pair- so they have each other, and our own kids.The kids are getting excited- Miss G wants little kids, and Mr.B wants kids his own age, so we shall see. Thanks for following along on our family's journey. It's been a long time coming.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
New Beginnings
Just 2 weeks ago my little man started All-Day Kindergarten (he'll be 6 in a few weeks). It was a moment that I had been waiting for for the last few years. He got the teacher that we really wanted him to have, and he has 2 very good friends in his class that he already knew from Church and his babysitter's. His teacher is amazing and so sweet. She's been teaching for 28 years, and has such a creative classroom. So the first day of school...I walked him inside and we waited in line to go to class, followed by the herd of other parents who also wanted to take pictures of their kiddos. Mr.B was all set, gave me a hug, and waved goodbye. No tears from him. No tears from me. A little surreal. The next day was harder. I felt empty inside, and really missed him. After a few days, I was good, but still that emptiness lingers a little bit. It's the first time in almost 10 years that I'm in a kid-free house all day by myself. No sweet babies to snuggle with. That made me pretty sad. Thank goodness for my sweet baby nephews though :) So I'll admit that I struggled with, now what is my purpose? No kiddos to take care of all day, and I only work part time Friday-Sunday 24 hrs total. These are feeling that I honestly never thought I'd experience, from the sheer fact that it was like my "freedom" when the last one went to school. I think it makes it a little different that I started working last year, and it didn't coincide with him starting school, and so the two things aren't correlated, so I feel differently.
In the last 2 weeks, I've more than caught up on my sleep; I've read 3 great books in the last month or so- Wuthering Heights, Radical- by David Platt, Crazy Love- by Francis Chan, and now am reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles (which is an amazing story and video on BBC from a few years ago). I've been reading Psalms, and making it a goal to read my bible more. Something that I admit I don't do enough. I've also been thinking about my future hopes and goals. I already have my Bachelor's of Science from KSU, but I really want to go back to get my RN,BSN within the next 5 years, and work as a nurse. It's something that I wanted to do 15 years ago, but my parents wouldn't let me go to because the Nursing School was were hubs went to college. So that's my goal. To get to that goal, I'm trying to switch jobs at the hospital and work as a Unit Secretary to get more experience and also earn more $ to pay off bills and then save for school. I'm really hoping it will work out. Not that I don't love Med.Records, but it's definitely not my career aspiration. I've also put a lot of energy into getting our house all orderly. Including soaking and scraping the kitchen floors so they can be restored to their former glory. After the kitchen, hubs will have to hold me back from gutting the staircase hallway and attic space :) Now I just need extra $ to fund my renovation projects. I've been able to go out thrifting more often, which is so nice to do by myself- saves me a huge headache. I'm currently addicted to Savers and Salvation Army, and pretty much over Turnstyles, since they have really nothing anymore. So back to the kiddos...
Miss G started 4th Grade, and has a great teacher. She's been teaching for 32 years. She used to teach gifted classes, so she said she really likes to challenge the kids, which is just what Miss G needs. She also has this ginormous reading area with bean bag chairs in the classroom that is amazing. So hard to believe that my baby is just a few years away from middle school. yikes. She'll be doing Jazz level 2 this year, and awana's (Mr.B will be doing awana's as well). Almost one month til the big 1-0 for Miss G. Luckily for her, she has a no school day that day, so we're planning on an awesome day of celebrating with just her and I. Getting the ears pierced, window shopping at Justice and American Girl, lunch and a movie- probably Diary of a Wimpy Kid. She is so incredibly excited.
So I'm excited to start this new phase of life with 2 school age kids. Even though I don't feel old enough for that to be possible. No more pre-school years. Which Braden admitted that he missed, but also told me last week, " I like Kindergarten more than I like being at home with you." ouch. But then he quickly explained that part of that was due to the fact that he doesn't have to take a nap/rest time at school, and he gets 2 recesses. This morning he told me "Mommy you're so beautiful, and I love you so much.I think you should be a princess!" He still loves me, so I'm good. He's growing up fast. The cliche' is true, so hold them tight and enjoy those crazy moments when you're home with the little ones. It will be past in a blink of the eye.
In the last 2 weeks, I've more than caught up on my sleep; I've read 3 great books in the last month or so- Wuthering Heights, Radical- by David Platt, Crazy Love- by Francis Chan, and now am reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles (which is an amazing story and video on BBC from a few years ago). I've been reading Psalms, and making it a goal to read my bible more. Something that I admit I don't do enough. I've also been thinking about my future hopes and goals. I already have my Bachelor's of Science from KSU, but I really want to go back to get my RN,BSN within the next 5 years, and work as a nurse. It's something that I wanted to do 15 years ago, but my parents wouldn't let me go to because the Nursing School was were hubs went to college. So that's my goal. To get to that goal, I'm trying to switch jobs at the hospital and work as a Unit Secretary to get more experience and also earn more $ to pay off bills and then save for school. I'm really hoping it will work out. Not that I don't love Med.Records, but it's definitely not my career aspiration. I've also put a lot of energy into getting our house all orderly. Including soaking and scraping the kitchen floors so they can be restored to their former glory. After the kitchen, hubs will have to hold me back from gutting the staircase hallway and attic space :) Now I just need extra $ to fund my renovation projects. I've been able to go out thrifting more often, which is so nice to do by myself- saves me a huge headache. I'm currently addicted to Savers and Salvation Army, and pretty much over Turnstyles, since they have really nothing anymore. So back to the kiddos...
Miss G started 4th Grade, and has a great teacher. She's been teaching for 32 years. She used to teach gifted classes, so she said she really likes to challenge the kids, which is just what Miss G needs. She also has this ginormous reading area with bean bag chairs in the classroom that is amazing. So hard to believe that my baby is just a few years away from middle school. yikes. She'll be doing Jazz level 2 this year, and awana's (Mr.B will be doing awana's as well). Almost one month til the big 1-0 for Miss G. Luckily for her, she has a no school day that day, so we're planning on an awesome day of celebrating with just her and I. Getting the ears pierced, window shopping at Justice and American Girl, lunch and a movie- probably Diary of a Wimpy Kid. She is so incredibly excited.
So I'm excited to start this new phase of life with 2 school age kids. Even though I don't feel old enough for that to be possible. No more pre-school years. Which Braden admitted that he missed, but also told me last week, " I like Kindergarten more than I like being at home with you." ouch. But then he quickly explained that part of that was due to the fact that he doesn't have to take a nap/rest time at school, and he gets 2 recesses. This morning he told me "Mommy you're so beautiful, and I love you so much.I think you should be a princess!" He still loves me, so I'm good. He's growing up fast. The cliche' is true, so hold them tight and enjoy those crazy moments when you're home with the little ones. It will be past in a blink of the eye.
Monday, June 25, 2012
When Mean Girls grow up to be Mean Mommies
Lindsay,Tiffany, Evelyn, Emily, Rebecca- the mean girls from my life growing up- from Elementary School through High School. Superficially beautiful, but with cruel, piercing eyes and smiles. So horrible, you can't even stand to be in the same room with them.
I was so glad to escape all the superficiality of it all when I graduated from High School.
The cliques, the popular people. Not that I was ever a social outcast or unpopular by any means, but I also couldn't stand the "popular" people that I had grown up with since elementary school. They left out people that I considered some of my greatest friends, and I couldn't stand for that. I've always been fiercly independent from a very young age- also very stubborn and strong willed. I've never felt like I've had to be with people all the time to boost my self-esteem, or to make up for loneliness. I was not, and still am not a "p.c" person, and am not a "go with the flow" person as well. Meaning I never have, or will do something just because everyone else is doing it, or it's popular. I can't stand the cliques and the "perfectness" of perky smiles, of fake people. As Robin from HIMYM would say, "All I can give you is a fake smile, and dead eyes." That about sums me up when you put me in a room with fake people. I don't like having to pretend, I'd rather rip my hair out honestly.
So all these musings came from after I was watching "Mean Girls" on tv the other day, it hit me all of a sudden that this is no different than what goes on with "Mean Moms." What happens when the "Mean Girls" grow up? Take the popular, exclusive,superficial, sometimes super type A, controlling, perfectionists, and turn it into motherhood and "Mean Moms" are created. How is all that new energy channeled? Into their kids lives- making sure they're perfectly dressed and only are friends with the popular kids or their friends kids. Take mommy groups for example. Which I've always thought I wanted to be involved in, but when I was involved, I was absolutely miserable. I did MOPS for several years at my old church and then 1 year at our current church. The absolute worst was when I was at my old church, and I was stuck at a table all year with super type A women- I mean... intense. It was all I could do to not scream every time I had to go to a meeting. It was a rough year. So after 1 year of MOPS at my new group, I called it done. I never was interested in mommy playdate groups- just for the sheer idea of being surrounded by moms that were so intense in personality and then all the differences of parenting styles- it was overwhelming to even think about. There has only been a brief few years, out of the last 10 years, that I've been in the same cycle of life as my friends who are also mom's. I had my daughter at 21, when most of my friends weren't married yet, and years away from kids. So I was always the young mom. Then when I had my son, it was right around the time that other friends were having kids, and for those baby/toddler years we could all relate. But having a baby didn't "buy" me any popularity either. It didn't make me get special attention from those who wouldn't care regardless. Which is not why I had another child, just for popularity sake.Now that he's off to Kindergarten this fall, we're way passed the mommy groups and group playdates. But I'm honestly not sad about it. It was never for me.
But now that I'm passed it, I still feel like the "jaded mom" sometimes. I just want to be around real, genuine, down to earth people. I don't want to be around fake people that always put on a smiley face, if deep down they're miserable, or trying to make up for an insecurity that's masked by being super outgoing. I want to experience real life, real struggles and not having everything sugar coated. Which brings me back to the "Mean Moms." Why do women always have to pretend, and act like something they're not. Maybe some people really thrive on the cliqueness, and the exclusivity of motherhood. They're so focused on outward appearance and popularity that they forget people who truly matter. Try and break into the circle, and it will never happen. Why do people want to be in the circle, even if they truly don't want to be. I don't want to be in the circle, but I don't want to feel like I'm invisible. If it means invisible, versus miserable, I'll take that instead. Mean moms need a serious dose of reality- if only they could be humble and not so superficial. Judging other moms because they don't live up to their standard of friendship or exclusivity.
I think about how many people in my life might have been the "Mean Girl" in high school or college, and now they have turned into this "Mean Mom." I know some, how about you?
(and no, I'll never mention who I think they are)
I'm planning on reading the book, "Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads" by the author of Mean Girls. It's hits the topic right on the head. I'll share what I've learned after it's all read. I know this seems to be an unspoken topic among women, mom or not. I just encourage everyone to be more bold in saying how they feel and not bottle it up-like I tend to do. And just to be clear, I'm writing this post as my random musing of the day, not because I've been individually hurt by anyone. It's just been on my heart for a long time, and thought now is the time to share.
I was so glad to escape all the superficiality of it all when I graduated from High School.
The cliques, the popular people. Not that I was ever a social outcast or unpopular by any means, but I also couldn't stand the "popular" people that I had grown up with since elementary school. They left out people that I considered some of my greatest friends, and I couldn't stand for that. I've always been fiercly independent from a very young age- also very stubborn and strong willed. I've never felt like I've had to be with people all the time to boost my self-esteem, or to make up for loneliness. I was not, and still am not a "p.c" person, and am not a "go with the flow" person as well. Meaning I never have, or will do something just because everyone else is doing it, or it's popular. I can't stand the cliques and the "perfectness" of perky smiles, of fake people. As Robin from HIMYM would say, "All I can give you is a fake smile, and dead eyes." That about sums me up when you put me in a room with fake people. I don't like having to pretend, I'd rather rip my hair out honestly.
So all these musings came from after I was watching "Mean Girls" on tv the other day, it hit me all of a sudden that this is no different than what goes on with "Mean Moms." What happens when the "Mean Girls" grow up? Take the popular, exclusive,superficial, sometimes super type A, controlling, perfectionists, and turn it into motherhood and "Mean Moms" are created. How is all that new energy channeled? Into their kids lives- making sure they're perfectly dressed and only are friends with the popular kids or their friends kids. Take mommy groups for example. Which I've always thought I wanted to be involved in, but when I was involved, I was absolutely miserable. I did MOPS for several years at my old church and then 1 year at our current church. The absolute worst was when I was at my old church, and I was stuck at a table all year with super type A women- I mean... intense. It was all I could do to not scream every time I had to go to a meeting. It was a rough year. So after 1 year of MOPS at my new group, I called it done. I never was interested in mommy playdate groups- just for the sheer idea of being surrounded by moms that were so intense in personality and then all the differences of parenting styles- it was overwhelming to even think about. There has only been a brief few years, out of the last 10 years, that I've been in the same cycle of life as my friends who are also mom's. I had my daughter at 21, when most of my friends weren't married yet, and years away from kids. So I was always the young mom. Then when I had my son, it was right around the time that other friends were having kids, and for those baby/toddler years we could all relate. But having a baby didn't "buy" me any popularity either. It didn't make me get special attention from those who wouldn't care regardless. Which is not why I had another child, just for popularity sake.Now that he's off to Kindergarten this fall, we're way passed the mommy groups and group playdates. But I'm honestly not sad about it. It was never for me.
But now that I'm passed it, I still feel like the "jaded mom" sometimes. I just want to be around real, genuine, down to earth people. I don't want to be around fake people that always put on a smiley face, if deep down they're miserable, or trying to make up for an insecurity that's masked by being super outgoing. I want to experience real life, real struggles and not having everything sugar coated. Which brings me back to the "Mean Moms." Why do women always have to pretend, and act like something they're not. Maybe some people really thrive on the cliqueness, and the exclusivity of motherhood. They're so focused on outward appearance and popularity that they forget people who truly matter. Try and break into the circle, and it will never happen. Why do people want to be in the circle, even if they truly don't want to be. I don't want to be in the circle, but I don't want to feel like I'm invisible. If it means invisible, versus miserable, I'll take that instead. Mean moms need a serious dose of reality- if only they could be humble and not so superficial. Judging other moms because they don't live up to their standard of friendship or exclusivity.
I think about how many people in my life might have been the "Mean Girl" in high school or college, and now they have turned into this "Mean Mom." I know some, how about you?
(and no, I'll never mention who I think they are)
I'm planning on reading the book, "Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads" by the author of Mean Girls. It's hits the topic right on the head. I'll share what I've learned after it's all read. I know this seems to be an unspoken topic among women, mom or not. I just encourage everyone to be more bold in saying how they feel and not bottle it up-like I tend to do. And just to be clear, I'm writing this post as my random musing of the day, not because I've been individually hurt by anyone. It's just been on my heart for a long time, and thought now is the time to share.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Mother's Day Weekend
Last year we had started a new tradition of just having Mother's Day for our family- just us 4, and celebrating with our mom's the day before. Which I have to say that I love. I love my mom and mil, but it's nice to have a day just for me. It went a lot smoother this year. Sat.am I had my walk for life and my sis in law and my sweet nephews joined me for the fun. Then I headed out to lunch to meet my sis and mom for some thai food. It was a great time to spend together for a few hours. My youngest nephew turned 1 the day before, and we went to his b'day party that night. I had to go to work Sat. night :( but got off early at 1:30am to get some extra zzz's before Sunday am.
This year I think gets my vote for best Mother's Day ever. I found so much joy in the time together and the sweetness of it all.The kids were so worn out from the bday party the night before, they actually slept in until 8:30am, which meant we actually got to sleep in for the first time in forever it seems. Hubs suprised me with a sweet card, and the kids each made me a few drawings a piece and they made my heart swell, and also melt, because I treasure them so much. Hubs baked some cinnamon rolls for breakfast and we all ate together (I've decided I don't like breakfast in bed after last year-I'd rather be with my family). We hung out and talked at the table and spent some good family time. We went to 2nd service at church, and the sermon couldn't have been more timely- all about cherishing time, and the value of time over anything else- work, friends, fb, etc. (more on that later). I also didn't want to go out to eat this year (after waiting over an hour last year to get in to a restaurant and spend way too much money) I just didn't want the hassle. So hubs cooked brats on the grill, and we had fries and pop, and aldi lofthouse cookies for dessert. It was a perfectly beautiful day. Just spending time with my family.
I also had to go in to work that night at 7:30pm, and I about cried, I didn't want to leave my perfect family day.
So last week was my first week not having to work weekday nights, and I didn't miss it at all. Not one single bit. I was so giddy to be home with Seavie and the kiddos, that I felt like I was going to burst my heart was so happy. After 5 months of working weekday nights, I was finally home with my family (As of late, I've found myself missing them so much when I have to go to work. It makes me so sad, the time that I miss from my hubby. Even if it's just for a few hours. I love him so much that it hurts to be away from him)
I feel like compared to my other job that I love, that this one is just a job, it doesn't change the world. It pays the bills, but that's about it. My coworker has pretty much stopped talking to me (because I suggested we leave early due to nothing to work on- and everything was done) and get all legalistic on me, so that doesn't make it better. I've said it once, but I'll say it again, I just don't do well with type A people. I'm taking it one weekend at a time, just getting by. If it weren't for all my medical bills, I'd probably just leave. Hoping just to make it through the summer there. In August when B starts all day Kindergarten, I'll be working an extra day at my reg.job, and then possibly gaining an extra position there, to work maybe 30 hours a week total-days, so it will be just within the time that the kids are in school- so I won't have to worry about before or after school care. I can not wait for that day...It makes such a tremendous difference when you're working for the Lord, and taking care of your family, and that it all has eternal purpose. Everything else doesn't seem to matter besides that.
On a random note, the last 2 weeks have been much better in regards to the lingering paperwork of the car accident mess from last fall. I about had a nervous breakdown after several letters came in the mail in one weeks time. I had a great talk with my friend and lawyer at our church which helped calm my nerves, and praying that God would give me peace. I am trying my very hardest to maintain a positive attitude and not let anger consume me. I'll post more about it after it's all settled, hopefully soon.
On a happy note, Castle and Beckett FINALLY kissed; and Ted and Victoria are back together. Those are the tv season finale moments that make me so incredibly happy :)
That sums up my life lately.
This year I think gets my vote for best Mother's Day ever. I found so much joy in the time together and the sweetness of it all.The kids were so worn out from the bday party the night before, they actually slept in until 8:30am, which meant we actually got to sleep in for the first time in forever it seems. Hubs suprised me with a sweet card, and the kids each made me a few drawings a piece and they made my heart swell, and also melt, because I treasure them so much. Hubs baked some cinnamon rolls for breakfast and we all ate together (I've decided I don't like breakfast in bed after last year-I'd rather be with my family). We hung out and talked at the table and spent some good family time. We went to 2nd service at church, and the sermon couldn't have been more timely- all about cherishing time, and the value of time over anything else- work, friends, fb, etc. (more on that later). I also didn't want to go out to eat this year (after waiting over an hour last year to get in to a restaurant and spend way too much money) I just didn't want the hassle. So hubs cooked brats on the grill, and we had fries and pop, and aldi lofthouse cookies for dessert. It was a perfectly beautiful day. Just spending time with my family.
I also had to go in to work that night at 7:30pm, and I about cried, I didn't want to leave my perfect family day.
So last week was my first week not having to work weekday nights, and I didn't miss it at all. Not one single bit. I was so giddy to be home with Seavie and the kiddos, that I felt like I was going to burst my heart was so happy. After 5 months of working weekday nights, I was finally home with my family (As of late, I've found myself missing them so much when I have to go to work. It makes me so sad, the time that I miss from my hubby. Even if it's just for a few hours. I love him so much that it hurts to be away from him)
I feel like compared to my other job that I love, that this one is just a job, it doesn't change the world. It pays the bills, but that's about it. My coworker has pretty much stopped talking to me (because I suggested we leave early due to nothing to work on- and everything was done) and get all legalistic on me, so that doesn't make it better. I've said it once, but I'll say it again, I just don't do well with type A people. I'm taking it one weekend at a time, just getting by. If it weren't for all my medical bills, I'd probably just leave. Hoping just to make it through the summer there. In August when B starts all day Kindergarten, I'll be working an extra day at my reg.job, and then possibly gaining an extra position there, to work maybe 30 hours a week total-days, so it will be just within the time that the kids are in school- so I won't have to worry about before or after school care. I can not wait for that day...It makes such a tremendous difference when you're working for the Lord, and taking care of your family, and that it all has eternal purpose. Everything else doesn't seem to matter besides that.
On a random note, the last 2 weeks have been much better in regards to the lingering paperwork of the car accident mess from last fall. I about had a nervous breakdown after several letters came in the mail in one weeks time. I had a great talk with my friend and lawyer at our church which helped calm my nerves, and praying that God would give me peace. I am trying my very hardest to maintain a positive attitude and not let anger consume me. I'll post more about it after it's all settled, hopefully soon.
On a happy note, Castle and Beckett FINALLY kissed; and Ted and Victoria are back together. Those are the tv season finale moments that make me so incredibly happy :)
That sums up my life lately.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Living Room Remodel- Budget Reveal
Everything in our Living Room Remodel
was purchased used from craigslist or a thrift store.
This is a true design on a budget.
 |
| Before-Vintage Magnavox Stereo Cabinet- $10 craigslist |
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| After- Sanded, primed and painted Heirloom White, gray paint on detailing, quatrefoil metal sides, original hardware spray painted bronze. 2 front panels removed to make way for stereo equipment. 2 other panels converted into functional drawers. Inside was gutted and re-framed. About $80 in lumber materials, $30 pressed metal, $30 primer/paint. Total estimated cost: $140.00 |
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| Before- Oak Side Table with wooden appliques-$10 Savers |
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| After- Sanded, primer and painted Heirloom White with gray glazing on detailing. Original hardware repainted from brass to bronze. Total estimated cost $15 in spray paint. |
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| Before- Vintage Amber Glass lamp with Brass $5 craigslist |
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| After- All metal painted bronze, light diffuser removed, and long rod taken off. No cost- already had the paint. |
Before- Picture Frames. All purchased from Turnstyles thrift store for about $25
were harmed in the making of my project-it
was just a paper copy that I threw away.
craigslist $10
Before- Old Frame with Gone with the Wind style fake painting. craigslist $15
We walled off the E door on the side of the house and put in this custom picture window that looks like an antique leaded glass window, but new and efficient. Seavie built all the trim around the window to match the existing (which was new when we remodeled it the first time about 7 years ago)The piano moved to this little nook, and it's the perfect spot. All the items on top of the piano are from a previous post, but 1/2 were free, or I already had. The new addition is the tray in the middle was only $2 from Turnstyles.
| We sold all of our existing furniture/decor in efforts to only use a good part of the $ from items sold for our remodel cost. We sold our old micro suede couch for $100, 4 of our extra parsons chairs for $100, piano lamp for $40, old shutter for $25, white frieze rug for $35. Equaling $300 to go to new furniture for our remodel. |
This olive green loveseat/oversized chair/chaise lounge of sorts was only $100 on craigslist.
I just adore it. Seavie still doesn't feel the love. I already had all the pillows on the window seat and couch except for 2, which match the loveseat perfectly- which were $10 total from Savers. The rug I bought from my friend Teryn (that was her landlords) for $15.
 |
| The 2 slipper chairs are a brown velvet material, and they were $150 for the pair from craigslist. The unpainted table(soon to be painted) was $15 on craigslist, and the green vintage lamp was $5 at salvation army. |
Monday, April 9, 2012
Documentaries.... and Spiritual Discernment
So the other night we were watching 2 different documentaries on the History Channel, and based on some past programs, we knew to be wary of anything they had to say in relation to the Bible. These 2 were on the "Shroud of Tourin" and "The Garden of Eden." They were both pretty far fetched, but the one that was absolutely ridiculous with pretty much no biblical basis was the 2nd one. They were incorporating things from the k*ran and k*ballah "religions" but they weren't directly saying that in the film, they made it seem like it was all from the Bible. It was over the top ridiculous how untruthful the whole thing was. The only thing that might be true in the whole thing was were it might actually be located now. But the whole issue of documentaries got me really thinking. First I was really worried for people, especially new Christians, or Christians not biblically sound in their teaching, that could view something like this, and not knowing the difference, be sucked into these lies. Anything can become convincing enough if portrayed the right way (mine used to focus more on politics) Anything really can be used as propaganda, but if it fits with your viewpoint, it can be easy to get sucked into it. Whether it is politics, social issues, food, or church issues. There are so many sources out there that all have their "bias" no matter how slight, that gradually reshape our thought processes no matter if we are really thinking about it or not. It becomes an issue of discernment- telling the truth apart from the lies.
In the case of these documentaries, it was an issue of spiritual discernment. The only true basis for telling the lies apart from the truth is having a deep rooted factual knowledge of what the Bible says. From the Bible itself. Not from commentaries, documentaries, or authors, but the actual words of God. I studied the book of Genesis a few years ago in c.b.s. and it was amazing. These documentaries were shocking in a sense to see how fallen we are as a human race to believe these lies that have been told since the beginning of time. People warping the story of creation, and God's miracles. People giving credit to mythology and cultural stories over the true word of God in the Bible. God's word is true, and that is the only word that we should believing.
Spiritual discernment carries over into the secular Christian world as well, where things have veered off into the path of political correctness land. There is one televangelist in particular that focuses on "inner self and self-worth." The one and only time I heard a brief part of his message, I immediately recognized it as lies. He had taken a simple verse of scripture, but twisted it to mean something that scripture had not intended. It clearly says in the bible that it is a sin to add to or take away from God's word. People have also done this with current social issues. The bible clearly states what is sin. It should not be re-interpreted to say, well God really didn't mean it that way. The bible clearly states otherwise. God loves everyone, but doesn't love the sin.
In the issue of spiritual discernment it can also be tricky with religious books. The one that I felt adamantly opposed to reading a few years ago was "the shack." I have never felt more strongly against reading a certain book in my entire life. I wanted to burn it. It became an ongoing debate between myself and mil and sil about this book. So it eventually got thrown in the trash- never read it. Hardly any biblical truth, totally distorted. It would be like someone that read the 'DaVinci Code' and saying that they believed it as God's word. It's just not true. It just takes a little bit of truth, mixed with a lot of lies, to mess with people's hearts.
The best way to stay alert and aware is in reading God's word straight from the source- the Bible. Reading it, and asking God to reveal the truth of his word to us.
Sure the world or society may mock, laugh or condemn people who so passionately follow Christ in their faith, but what is so important to us in our life (fill in the blank) that it's worth losing our eternal souls over? See my old post:
http://thyoldefarmhouse.blogspot.com/2010/01/you-think-you-know-person.html that still weighs very heavily on my heart. Betrayal hurts regardless of who's involved.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Matt and Molly
Matt was an amazing guy, so sweet, and was friendly to everyone that he'd meet. He and his family used to go to my old church, HCC. My friend Molly, I met 6 years ago, when we were in Community Bible Study together in the new mom's group for a year. We'd stayed in touch, and I followed her blog for almost 3 years reading the adoption journey of her daughter Waverly. Crying my heart out, because no one should have to go through that much pain.
Now to lose her husband, is unimaginable the absolute pain and grief that must be coming over her. Her world has already been shaken to the core by losing her daughter, and now this. Pray for strength and courage for her, as she needs to be strong for her and Harper. Pray for Harper to understand what happened with her daddy.
Matt's memorial service is this afternoon at 4pm, and I'll be heading to Heartland to celebrate his life, and to be there as support for Molly.
My heart aches so badly for my friend. In the last few days, it has made me realize more than ever, that life really is too short. You never know which day might be your last. This last year or so, with my grandma passing away, and then my neighbor, and my friend Michelle from c.b.s, who was too young, was a lot to handle. In addition to grieving with friends over lost babies. My heart just aches. I try to live each day, like it could possibly be my last. Tell my kids and hubby that I love them each day, and spend that time together. Holding them closer, not wanting to let them go. Thinking of what kind of legacy am I leaving to my children. Not taking anything forgranted. Life is too short.
Please pray for Molly and Harper...
Monday, March 26, 2012
10 year Wedding Anniversary trip!!!
at the very beautiful Inn on Crescent Lake B&B.... Our room, "The Ballroom," was located on the 3rd floor- or top L in this pic where the 4 dormer windows are. It's actually the old Mansion Ballroom that they turned into a suite.
It is a 1915 Georgian Colonial Mansion, on 22 acres of land, surrounded by 2 crescent shaped ponds.
***So the irony in the name of where we stayed is this- we got married in Eureka Springs, and had our Wedding Reception at The Crescent Moon Hotel there. At one point we had considered going on our 10 year trip to St.Louis. So instead we stayed here, Excelsior Springs, at
The Crescent Inn on the Lake, which is on St.Louis Ave. I just loved the similarities, and thought that it was so fitting of a place for our 10 year anniversary trip***
This is the picture from the website that made me fall in love with the B&B. As I've said before, I have really high standards for where I stay- a lot of it has to do with the Architecture and how well they kept with period decor. If it's not tastefully done, then I'm not going to stay there.
Here is a great aerial pic from their website showing the property
Here is our beautiful Ballroom Suite- with my Princess Canopy Bed. I have never in my life slept more comfortably than I did this weekend- the fabric softener she used smells delicious, and I was seriously in love with it.
The view of the property at night- which was gorgeous. The pergola at the bottom R side of the picture was wrapped with lights that went over the outdoor hot tub. It was beautiful. I'm still not letting go of my pergola dream for my own backyard.
So when Seavie and I first were dreaming of where we would go to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, we initially really wanted to go to Daytona Beach in FL. Specifically in February- so we could see Daytona 500, because we're both huge Nascar fan's. And it's right next to the beach, so win win. We knew early on that that was just going to be a dream, especially after having to buy a replacement car, and me not working. So we got a good laugh this year when we watched the race on tv this year. Not only did it rain all weekend, but the race was delayed several times. So had we actually gone, we would have had to pay extra to switch flights, stay extra nights, and not be able to enjoy the beach because it would have been raining. So it wasn't meant to be, and we had peace with that. Also, I was in the hospital in January, and now have a $4500 hospital bill to pay for, which was totally unexpected. But we agreed early on that we were not going to sacrifice our anniversary weekend at the sake of feeling overwhelmed by bills. The same went for when we bought our replacement t.v. If you're going to be poor, you might as well be happy right?
So rewinding back to last summer- we've seen everything happen in God's timing and his will for this series of events. Had I not gotten a job at aapc, I probably wouldn't have been able to afford to go to TX for Erin's wedding. But we did go, then we had the car accident, which if that hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't have gotten a 2nd job. But I did get a 2nd job- and then about a month later- wham. a gigantic hospital visit to pay for, and now some other health issues. So thankfully that 2nd job at the hospital allowed us to have $ to actually do something for our anniversary. Had it not been for that, we probably wouldn't have had this dream weekend, and also not had the means to pay off these medical bills and feel completely overwhelmed- just like we did almost 6 years ago. So all that to say that everything happens for a reason. I love my "new" car, I love my 2 jobs, and I love that I had a weekend away with my hubby. So good has come out of it so far. Even though the accident is still not settled with Insurance 6+ months later, I can only hope it happens soon, and nothing major will come from it.
So back to our weekend trip...
We left Friday morning after dropping off the kids at school/Aunt's house, and headed for Excelsior Springs. Our check in time was at 4pm, and it was kind of a cloudy/rainy day, so we decided to make that our shopping/explore downtown day. The town itself is beautiful, and in the process of continued revitalization. We first went to a shop called Redmond's. It was in this gorgeous old building with pressed tin ceilings and 2 separate mezzanines. I was in love. I told Seavie it would make an awesome loft house in my alternate reality. Just breathtaking. We also went to a place called Broadway Bargains- which was a thrift store in an old church- because I can't leave my bargain shopping behind on vacation. Didn't find anything there, so moved on to historical landmarks. This beautiful building below is called The Hall of Waters. Beautiful Art Deco style building. That gigantic bar you see in the middle was a Water Bar. The town started off of their variety of mineral springs, and this bar tapped in all the town favorites. People were being healed of various ailments by these different waters back in the day.
After that, we moved on to the Excelsior Springs Museum, where we had the nicest older gentleman as our tour guide for about 2 hours. Best $4 ever spent. This is a beautiful old bank with original interior. We learned a lot about the town history etc.
For lunch, we went to a place downtown called Ray's Diner. It was an original 1930's vintage diner. I had a cheeseburger with onion rings, and the onion rings were to die for. I was loving every single bite. After lunch, we strolled down main street, went to an original old Hardware store- which are always fun because they have so much unique stuff, and found a local Antique mall that had lots of funky old things- but Seavie wasn't loving the lamps, so I had to move on. Besides that, there weren't many other shops we were interested in, so we headed just a little outside of town, and found 3 giant flea market/antique stores that we explored for a few hours. Finally 4pm came around and we went to go check into the B&B. The front drive is breathtaking, made us feel like we were millionaires. We hung out for a few hours- and then went back into town for dinner at this amazing restaurant called Ventana's. We had heard great things about it. It was a casual/upscale atmosphere and they had a live piano player that evening. We both had a 7 oz.steak with loaded mashed potatoes and green beans- and it was delicious. The best thing the incredible berry/cookies n cream homemade cheesecake for dessert. Yum. We were stuffed. Came back and watched "50 first dates" movie in our room. It was a great night.
The next morning, Saturday, we actually got to sleep in. Breakfast was at 9am, and also incredibly delicious. Gourmet breakfast casserole, 2 biscuits, grapes with powdered sugar, sausage, and a hashbrown- with oj. Since we had already done most everything there was to do in town, we decided to drive down to Liberty, since it was only about 15 minutes south of there. We were excited to go back, since we had stayed there for our 1 year wedding anniversary and loved the town. Sadly, there was hardly anything left in the large town square. So we decided to use our gps to help us find some local antique stores. The first place it took us to, actually was someone's house in a newer neighborhood, which we got a good laugh out of. But the gps redeemed itself by taking us to a place called Timeless Treasure's in Claycomo. I got 2 old fashioned children's photos, and a vintage clock that I'm in love with. Seavie got 2 antique license plates and an old road sign. It was a great store- the only annoying part was this group of highly obnoxious and loud older women who came into the store maybe 10 minutes after us. I spent a good part of time trying to avoid them and their horrible chatter. So right next door was a Maj-R-Thrift, and I just love this store in Olathe. Seavie had never been to one, so we went through it, didn't stay too long, which I would have loved to look for new clothes, but didn't want to torture Seavie with that, so we headed back to Excelsior Springs for some lunch at Wabash BBQ.
This BBQ restaurant is located at an old train depot right across the street from The Elms (which is currently being renovated to re-open next month- but we didn't stay there because it's supposedly haunted- and we know how that ends). So we both had the pulled pork sandwich- it was incredible honestly- probably the best we've ever had. So after lunch, we went back to the B&B, and went on a paddle boat ride. It was really a lot of fun, just floating down the little pond together. Our boat started taking on water about 1/2 way back, so poor Seavie had to take off his shoes, and go barefoot to peddle. We made it back safely to shore, and then went on a walk down the walking path they have on the property. It was such a beautiful day outside, and it was great just having time together. We went back to the room, and watched tv for a while, and found this freakin hilarious tv show called "My cat from hell" on animal planet. For those of you who know me really well, you know that I absolutely hate cats... with a passion. Well this show is all about trying to change the cats behavior so the owner's don't have to get rid of them. It was quite funny, and really quite sad that the people were so whipped by their cats. We went back in town that night to Ventana again, since it was so yummy. This time we tried different things, my pasta was okay, but the cheese crusted pita bread that came with it was great. For dessert, we shared a piece of Peanut Butter chocolate cheesecake. Oh my goodness, it was delicious. Homemade cheesecake is heavenly. We should have only had dessert, we were so stuffed after a day of eating yummy food. We had to walk around for a while after that. So we went back to the B&B and finally got to go enjoy the hot tub outside for about an hour, since it was such a nice night. Then we watched "Double Jeopardy" which we hadn't seen in forever. A perk of the B&B was that they had complimentary fresh baked cookies and pop-which we loved. The owner was sweet and gave us a complimentary sparkling grape juice to toast with for our anniversary. It was really sweet. We've been through a lot these last 10 years, and it was nice to be able to celebrate being on a new chapter of our lives.
Sunday morning, we got to sleep in again. I totally fell in love with the fabric softener that the sheets smelled like. It was like I was on a Gain or a febreeze commercial. Yum. Going to find that at the store soon... So breakfast was authentic french toast with strawberries and cream in the middle layer. With real pieces of french bread, that were more like buttered toast, not egg coated. The owner is originally from France, and is an amazing chef. This was served with little smokie like sausages. It was just incredible. Check out time was 11am. So after that we headed back to Wabash BBQ for lunch. This time Seavie and I split a Brisket sandwich, which was really good, but the pork was definitely the best. Then we headed off to our Historical Park day.
We went to Watkins Mill State Park, which is in Kearney. For $4/piece we got to tour both this awesome Textile Mill from the mid 1800's
and this beautiful house that was part of the property. It had original woodwork and furnishings and it had 2 crazy staircases that made ours look relatively calm. They had 11 kids that shared a total of 2-3 bedrooms. Boys on one side of the house, girls on the other- with separate staircases. They had an amazing farm set-up. The entire basement was basically a gigantic refrigerator- one area for dairy, one for meat, and one for fruits. There was a smokehouse, summer kitchen, fruit dehydrator shed, 1 acre garden, chicken/turkey coop. It was incredible. How would you have liked to be that farm wife cooking for 15-25 people a day- family and farm hands included?
Then after leaving the Watkins Mill State Park, we headed off to the Jesse James Farmstead, also in Kearney. They have an amazing museum there with a video history, as well as a lot of historical items that belonged to him and his family. Seavie is a huge Wild West/Cowboy fan, so we had to stop here and see what the true story of Jesse James was. I honestly learned a lot. I had no clue that his whole reason for getting into the gang was for revenge against the Union army. He was also involved with Quantrill's raiders, who did a lot of damage in the KS/MO area. Some random facts about Jesse James, his father was a Baptist Preacher. Jesse married his first cousin, and they had 4 kids, the twins passed away at 1 month old. His brother Frank was the calm, passive one. Jesse was shot in the back by a friend who wanted the reward money that had been offered as a hit on his life. We also got to tour his farmstead that he grew up on. As pictured below.
It was a great tour, and we had a great time. We both love Historical Places, so we definitely got in a lot of that over the weekend. The weather was absolutely perfect Sat/Sun, so it was great to get some R&R and have a weekend off of work and kid duty. Now it's back to reality!
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