Life is too short

Last Thursday, Seavie's Aunt went to the hospital for kidney stones. Things took a turn for the worse, she had a heart attack, all her organs started to fail, and things were not looking good. Her family thought it was the end. But then a slight glimmer of hope, and her doctor's put her on dialysis, and she started slowly but surely getting better. A week later, she has mostly recovered, alert and bright eyed with the determination that she has always had. We went to see her Wed. night. Her husband of 50 years was there- he hadn't left her side the entire week she was there. He swept her hair back, and brushed her cheek with his hand, and told her he loved her, and you could see she loved him in her eyes too. It brought such tears to my eyes... watching high school sweethearts, who had nearly lost each other, have such a sweet embrace. It made me think, that could be me and Seavie someday. My life would fall apart if I were to lose him. It brought me comfort though knowing if I was sick someday, that Seavie would be by my side taking care of me and loving me through sickness and in health. It made me realize that life is too short to take little things forgranted.

Then last Sunday a massive tornado tore through Joplin,MO. Complete devastation to 1/3 of the town. People without homes, or any material possessions. People losing loved ones. Everything just completed obliterated in the blink of an eye. This was another, life is to short moment.

How would the rest of the world react? How would you or I react to losing everything?

As a society, we place so much value on our standard of living. Having the best house, and the nicest car. Newest and most stylish clothes, or furniture or appliances. Going to the best schools, going on the most lavish vacations. Comparing our lives to lives of others. Then in an instant.... it's all gone. Everything that we hold dear, ripped from our lives, left with nothing. I'm not a very worldy person, or at least try not to be. We have nice things, but there is nothing that I own, that I couldn't live without. If I had to leave today, or lose it all, I would be okay. I'm not attached to all these things, even though they're nice, and provide comfort. I think of Luke 12:34- For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I don't ever want to be so consumed by things of the world, that I lose track of my eternal purpose.

Don't get me wrong, my heart completely breaks for the people of Joplin. They did nothing wrong that brought this natural disaster into their town. I'm just trying to say, it's how you would deal with a loss of that nature, how would you react. I would be completely devastated. I would call out to God, and say why me? But I would put my trust in him to get through the very hard times. This whole thing, makes me want to live life each day, like it could be my last. Cherishing all the moments with my kiddos and husband. Building friendships and relationships that glorify God. Having a servant's heart and helping people in the community. Knowing that God is in control of my life and that his will prevails. Never taking things forgranted...

Grace's last days of school

Grace had a fun filled last week of school, and made lots of good memories. She had awards day, field day, zoo field trip day, movie day, and an all school party day. I know it sounds like she probably didn't learn very much the last week, and maybe she didn't, but that's okay. She did get the most amazing week with all her best friends at school, that it was their last time to be together until 5 years from now, when they go to middle school.

Grace finished up her last day of Second grade on Tuesday. It was a bittersweet day, since her school is now closed permanently due to school budget cuts. She got her teacher a nice little gift, and made her a card. They had a half day, so Braden and I walked up there to get her, one last time. We said goodbye to her K, 1st and 2nd grade teachers, since they'll all be going to different schools next year. I'm so sad that Braden won't have the opportunity to have them as teachers when he goes to K in a year. They are all amazing women, and women of faith. We played at the playground, and when it started to get chilly, and all the crazy storm clouds came in, we got home quick before we got rained on. Before we left to go for ice cream, Grace broke down crying, poor little girl was so upset about her school closing and her friends leaving, she just sobbed. It was so hard to see her little heart break. I assured her, she would get to see all her friends over the summer and for her b'day this fall, and that cheered her up. I suprised them by taking them to Peachwave, which just opened by our house. They were so thrilled! It was a nice way to end a bittersweet day! I can't believe my little girl will be a 3rd grader this fall! and my little man in Pre-K!

Weight Loss Update

So I did my final weigh in for jazzercise yesterday morning. I had officially lost 8 lbs in the last 12 weeks, bringing me up to a grand total of 13 lbs lost since January. For about a month my weight was pretty constant within .5 lb, but then thanks to my zoo field trip day walking what seemed like 5 miles, and carrying a 20 lb.backpack of lunches, I dropped a pound shortly after. I was a little sad, because the jc scale, and my scale at home, read out slightly different. They both showed that I lost only 2% fat in the last 3 months, not 12% like I originally thought. Their scale measures the same exact weight as mine at home, but reads the percentage at a higher rate. I'm just going to assume mine is right :) 2% is better than nothing I guess. I feel a lot better, and can see the difference. Since the beginning of the year, I've gotten in 70 hours of jazzercise, and walked

31 miles!!! The walking every week, with working out definitely helps. And it's nice to get out and get some sun, instead of being inside all the time. I still have about 20-30 lbs to go until I'm back to what I was about 2 yrs ago. Here's hoping I get there maybe by the end of the year, or early next year!!!

Falling of the bandwagon

As you all know, my goal for this year was to be a super mom, and get our food budget under control. Jan-Feb, and part of March? were pretty good, but after that, not so good. I've been using e-mealz, or should I say, printing off the weekly meal charts, but not using them. Most of the recipes sounds pretty good. My biggest issue, is that I.do.not.like.to.do.dishes. and I.don't.have.a.dishwasher. For me to keep my sanity, it would be a very convenient thing to have again. So girls, be glad you at least have one. I would make all the food all week, and then have massive amounts of dishes to do. I claim all my problems would be solved by having a nice dishwasher, and a slightly bigger food budget. The overall amount spent has been pretty much under the budget amount, with the exception of one month. I just need to get my butt in gear and make the recipes, even if I might not love them, but it's cheaper than eating out more often.

Walk for Life and Mother's Day weekend

I had my walk for life saturday morning, and it went great! The weather was absolutely perfect. I ended up raising $1820.00, and my goal was $1000. I was completely blown away by the generous donation of a friend from bible study. It made me look forward to the day that we can be debt free, and give so much more freely to organizations, church, friends in need, like she did. Also 2 awesome things from the walk. Since I was the very first person to register this year, I got a free Chris Tomlin cd from K-love :) and I was entered in a drawing to win a free Garmin nuvi (garmin donated one for the walk), for getting over $1000 in donations..... and I WON! yay!!! I have always wanted one, and now my wish has come true. The only time I plan to use it is when we go out of state to travel. Since I pretty much grew up where we live, I know my way around without a map. My sister in law walked with me, and was very brave and pushed her 2 boys (probably 70+lbs in a double stroller) for 2 miles, at 9 months pregnant. I offered to push it for her, but she said she was okay. I think it all worked out okay for her though, because she just delivered her sweet baby boy, Holden this morning. He was born 3 weeks early, but was perfectly healthy, and just a beautiful baby.

This was probably one of the best years for Mother's Day yet. In the past, especially when we first got married, it was a touchy issue, mainly for me. That in the last 2 years, we've decided to keep the day of, just for our family of 4, and celebrate with our moms individually the day before. I think it's worked out great. My sister and I took my mom out to lunch Saturday at Mimi's Cafe, and had a good time talking with yummy food. Then we went to the mall afterwards and I had a Forever 21 gift card from Christmas my parents had given me, that I used to buy 3 cute new summer tops. I can't remember the last time I bought something at the mall, but I was in love with this store. The dressing room area, was beautiful to say the least. And the jewelry area, just perfectly designed. We went out to Seavie's parents for dinner and spent a few hours out there, and had a really good time. My mother in law was sweet as can be, and loved her present (which isn't always the case) but I was so glad everything went over well. The next morning, day of, Seavie made me breakfast in bed for the first time ever. I've only been asking him the last several years. We went to church, and then came home, played in the yard, with the dogs. The kids took a 4 hour nap, so it was a nice chance to rest and relax. Then we went to dinner at Granite City, which kids eat free on Sunday 5-close, which we didn't know, but was awesome to have that taken care of. And then Peachwave, my new love, for dessert. Since they just opened, we had a $3 off, plus a 30% off discount they were having for mother's day, so we got $10 of ice cream, for only $4. It was amazing. Totally loved it over orange leaf or green apple.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I feel so blessed to be the mom of an almost 5 and 9 year old. I'm so glad that God gave them to me, to be their mother.

A time of transition

So I just got back from a school tour of Grace's new school... It was completely different than what Grace has been used to at the traditional 1950's school that she's been used to the last 3 years. It was built in 1990, and is SUPER contemporary. Think glass blocks, faux foliage in the planters (which reminds me of Skate Land in the 1980's/early 90's), mauve, blue and white, checker patterns. The biggest change is that it has pods, which the school I went to from 2nd-5th grade had pods, but not like these. These pods are open, meaning, classrooms have no doors, the outside classroom wall is open at the top 2 feet, and all the group of 4 classrooms in each pod, connect to each other at the front of the room. Interesting. The interior designer in me is thinking, wth were the architects thinking when they designed this!?! Even the bathrooms are open- at least the handwashing area is. But aside from my issues with the design, the school flows really well. The classrooms are more modern, and triangular shaped, so you can have more fun layouts than the traditional square classroom. The principal seems nice, but I really prefer her current principal better. He's more laid back, and not as self-confident, over assertive. The PTA people are super perky peppy, way more energetic than I'm used to, so that will be fun.ha.

It's all starting to sink in that Grace only has 7 1/2 days at her school now, until school is over. She still has field day, and a tour of the new school, and a zoo field trip. The school is also doing an all out party for the kids the 2nd to last day of school, which will be like a big farewell party. I love her school now. It's close enough to walk, smaller size-275, compared to 625 next year. what? The teachers are amazing and down to earth. The kids are great. It's our own little community. Grace will be losing her very best friend to the other school, because of boundary lines, so that makes it rough. I think I'm just as sad as she is about changing schools. To me it's just unecessary change. Gotta love school budget cuts. not. So as mom, I have to suck it up, and make the best out of it, and get my happy face on for the change. It is a nice school, and she will have several friends there, so it could be much worse. The only bad thing that could happen would be, being convinced to join the PTA. That would just make me feel like an old mom. But that's just me :) Those are my thoughts for the day.

Master Bedroom Reveal

Here are the pics (finally) of our Master Bedroom remodel. After 2 months of work off and on, weekends, and spare time, our room is all done. We had decided that this really needed to be done before we worked on any other project, and so used part of our tax return to pay cash for the entire project. The new trim, and crown molding took the bulk of the budget.

First up we re-painted the ceiling. This had been done when we moved in almost 8 years ago, but the kilz has slowly worn off, and the yellowed smoke was coming through again. So now the ceiling is bright white once again. We took all the old trim several months ago, so the next step was for Seavie to do all the trim work. Just like with the Living room and Bathrooms, he custom made the door and window profiles to match the historic trim upstairs. After the trim was done, we painted the trim. After letting that dry for several days, we painted the walls- 2 coats to cover up the lavender.

Below pic is a close up of the layered crown molding- which is you take a tall decorative piece of base trim with lots of detail, and turn it upside down and the crown molding goes right on top of it. Seavie had lots of fun with that, and I promised him he never had to do it again :) but he was the one who suggested it to begin with.

An up close view of the fireplace wall bump out and trim detail for ceiling and doors. Seavie built a 2x4 wall right on top of the mantel, to make it look like the chimney. And the funny thing is that there really is the original chimney to the house right behind the fireplace mantel (it has been enclosed in our closet-because it wreaks of old cigarette smoke every time we would turn on the attic fan)

My pretty new chandelier via craigslist for $15. woo hoo! For those of you who saw the brass chandelier post, Seavie was not loving the idea at all, and so I ended up selling it, and made a $20 profit from the new shades that had come with it. And bought this awesome deal instead! And just yesterday sold our old ceiling fan in the room for $65, so that goes towards the remodel budget.

I did keep the ceiling medallion though that came with the brass light, because it's the perfect size and it's basically free. We had bought one from HD, and they used to be wood, and now they are cheap plastic, so we returned that, because I was ticked off about the poor quality.

My faux fireplace wall... I bought this antique mantle several years ago at a local antique store for $90. Which is an absolute steal for an antique. Most start around $200-300. It has the original square nails and everything, and I would date it around 1870's or so. It was about 18" wider, but Seavie had to cut it down to fit on our wall space, and then he re-assembled it for me.

The antique pressed tin piece, I got from the same antique store around the same time frame for $15, also a great deal. People want a small fortune for that stuff. Seavie spray painted it for me with an oil rubbed bronze spray paint to match our hardware in the room.

And my sweet antique baby picture- was from the same antique place as the fireplace for $40, and was a splurge at the time a few years ago, but it is just the cutest thing. It has the original frame, and glass. I just love it. I also have 2 antique photographs-one of a young girl, and one of a young boy- $2 a piece, same store.

The tile around the pressed tin is slate mosaic tile, and it has blues, reds, greens, grays. It was $24 for tile, so very cost effective.

The 48" french doors were actually free- from my brother in law- they were pretty ugly when we got them, so Seavie had to sand, paint and patch them to look like they do now. So we just had to pay the cost for new hardware.

And last but not least my old nasty floor vent is looking brand new with a fresh coat of oil rubbed bronze spray paint, it fits right in.

My window walls... It was quite the dilemma after these windows were all done and pretty, how exact we wanted to lay out the furniture. I ended up not wanting anything blocking the windows, because in my head, and I wanted each curtain pulled to the opposite side, so it became a focal point.

The drapes are from BBB, sheers for $5 at Target! and the curtain rods at Lowe's. The rug we already had before, so no cost there.

Also, not pictured above the dresser is an old window that has similar glass panes like the french doors that I received as a b'day gift a few years ago from the in-laws. We took some extra fabric from a throw that came with the bed set, turned it inside out, so the background is brown, with blue damask. And staple gunned it to the backside of the window. And hoila! free wall decor!

My Bed wall... The comforter set I got about 1 1/2 yrs ago with a bunch of Christmas money. I had originally seen this exact set on craigslist for $30, but it had already been sold, but she was nice and told me where to find it at BBB. Thank goodness for the 20% off coupon :)

For those of you who don't know, Seavie built our entire bedroom set for a woodworking project for one of his college classes. I switched out the hardware on everything about the same time I bought the comforter set, changing the brass to oil rubbed bronze. The exact hardware we wanted was on clearance at the time, and it was maybe $1 a piece, compared to $3+ a piece, so that was awesome.

My funky lamps, I also bought from craigslist, about a year ago, for $5 a piece! They are 70's milk glass with a funky pattern on them. Seavie didn't love them, but they're growing on him.

They didn't come with lamp shades, and it had taken me a whole year to find ones that would work with them. Luckily for me, retro lamps and lamp shades are in right now at Target, and so I got these cute white silky drum shades for $15 a piece. So total $20 a lamp, which is still much better than paying $60+ for an imitation retro piece.

The stained glass- also free! These came from a beautiful old English Tudor house that my parents owned in St.Louis about 25 years ago. They took them off, and they have been in the basement and barn ever since. I rescued them last year from my parents barn, not wanting them to rot away. I think they look perfect centered above the bed.

So thus describes our room remodel on a budget! Only real cost involved was trim, paint, hardware, and curtains/curtain rods. Everything else was free, or already paid for several years ago. I really enjoyed this project, and love being in my room now. For the longest time I just despised it, because I had this picture in my head of how it would be some day, and it came out just like I had hoped it would.

Also, in adding the historic details back in- trim, lighting, old pictures, fireplace, it has helped bring back some much need character to our beloved Farmhouse. You see our room was the original Parlor of the house, and it would have been the fanciest room in the house. Even in 1887. So by incorporating old with new, I feel like I have achieved that goal!

I hope that this will also give my friends inspiration of what can be done with a space, even on a budget. And you know that you have a good friend (me) who is an Interior Designer, and I always love creating floor plans, design ideas, if anyone would like help with anything :)

a week of worship

Palm Sunday at our church was so powerful. The last 4 days, I've found myself immersed in easter related worship songs. I heard this beautiful song on k-love the other day, and had to stop and write the words down right away.... Living he loved me, Dying he saved me, Buried he carried, my sins far away, Rising he justified, freely forever, One day he's coming oh Glorious day!!!!

My other favorite is "Come to Jesus" (not sure if that's the right title). But this songs gets me in tears every single time. Especially the very last verse when it says, "Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, and Live." Braden loves this part of the song, because he's asked me how he'll get to heaven someday. And I explained it, that from what I had read, that the angels would carry him there. He thought that was so cool. So he sings this last verse with all of his heart, and it melts my heart. My sweet little man asked Jesus into his heart on April 1 of this year. He was so excited for weeks on end to learn more about Heaven, and how Jesus could come live in his heart forever. It makes my heart overjoyed, to know that I will see both of my children in heaven with me some day (Grace asked Jesus into her heart when she was about the same age)

We are finishing up our 9 month study of the book of Revelations, and it has been so incredibly powerful. Right now we're at the very end, where it's describing the New Holy City/ New Heaven. The scale of it is to be 1400 miles wide x 1400 miles long x 1400 miles tall. With streets of gold, as clear as glass, and each of the 12 gates made out of a single pearl. Precious jewels in every color of the rainbow, and a river of life. No sun or moon. God is the light. No more darkness. I was sitting in the backyard the other day staring way up into the sky, just trying to imagine the immense scale of this beautiful city that my family and I will get to live in some day with God and Jesus. It was such a powerful image. So many powerful songs we sing at church come from the words in Revelations as well.

Last night at 9 pm, I got a call from the director of my women's bible study, and she asked me if I could lead worship this morning. I of course said yes, but then had the task of picking out which songs would be appropriate. Since we are finishing up Revelations, I picked out Revelation Song, and for Easter, a contemporary version of Hallelujah what a Savior. As I was going through all my different song books that I have, those 2 just jumped out at me as perfect for this mornings worship. I was so incredibly excited for this opportunity that I could hardly fall asleep last night- I think I finally did around 1 am. Everything went great this morning, and it was so incredibly powerful being up there singing my heart out and playing to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It was beyond words, I was overjoyed for so many reasons. As of today, I've officially agreed to be a part of the worship team for my Community Bible Study group this next year. So I'll get to play the piano and sing on a more regular basis :) Can you see me jumping up and down?!?

Music has been a passion of mine since I was very little, and something that brings me so much incredible joy. Joy that I didn't realize how much I missed until last year when I started singing again (at my old HS teacher's farewell- think Mr.Holland's Opus).

But this whole week of singing praises has put me in such a worshipful mood, as we move towards this weekend as we remember Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, and rising again on Easter Sunday. It has been a week of joy so far, and pure happiness. I've been a nicer mom, and soaking up every moment with the kiddos. When my focus is on Jesus, everything else falls into place. I wish everyone a very happy and joyous Easter weekend with their families- to focus on the real meaning, and not society's meaning- the easter bunny& the excessive commercialism that comes with it.

(sorry to hold out on the room reveal post- the finishing touches will be put together this weekend-curtains, decor etc. hopefully pics to come early next week :)

my personality

A few weeks ago, as part of our small group bible study, we individually took personality tests. My top 5 were in this order: Empathy, Individualization, Input, Responsibility, and Strategic. I was amazed, that this test got me to the T. The descriptions completely matching with my personality.

Empathy: sensing the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in other's situations. Sensing the mood of an individual without them saying a word. Good listener. Feels things very deeply.

For those of you who know me well- You know this is just who I am. I feel so much for other people sometimes it hurts (my major fields of interest before college were: Veterinary Medicine, Nursing, and Social Work) My heart has been aching for the last year, for my 6 friends who have lost their sweet babies due to different circumstances. My heart hurts for clients I've seen experience great loss. For children growing up in poverty and for those less fortunate. I have this ability to read people- in conversations, or body language. Knowing what is really at people's hearts, despite the outward motions- for good or bad.

Individualization: intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. Get joy from helping people in need. Read topics of various interest. See things from other people's perspective.

This is something that is what makes my job as a counselor more helpful (and interpreting family and friends sometimes) Knowing people's background and how they grew up, and life choices they've made-which have shaped who they are today. I love to read and research new things on numerous topics, and store that info away in my head to use someday.

Input:Love of reading, and gathering information. Gravitate towards serious conversations. Avoiding small talk and gossip. Based on all info collected, decide what is and isn't worth remembering.

I love debating issues with people (politics, societal issues etc). I'm not a fan of small talk that is on a more insincere level. I love really getting to know someone for who they really are and what they stand for. When I become passionate about a certain issue, I don't ever really back down. I'm not easily swayed by other people's opinions, or a go with the flow kind of girl. I'm not a conformist, or necessarily go with the popular choice. I am in individual capable of making my own decisions. I am very independent and strong willed.

Responsibility: Taking ownership of what you say or do. Committed to values such as honesty and loyalty. Very dependable. Attention to detail, doing things right.

I am the typical oldest child. Always trying to be the responsible one. I've always seen myself as dependable. It drives me nuts when I've worked in past jobs to see people (and managers) less responsible than their title provides them. My attention to detail has turned me into a little ocd the last few years. Especially when paperwork and organization are involved.

Strategic: create alternate ways to proceed. Knowing the exact words to use in a conversation. Factor in different variables that could lead to possible outcomes. Pinpoint problems and solutions.

I can't thing of "strategic" without thinking of the word "strategery" as they would make fun GWB on SNL. I find myself being more this way in parenting. Thinking of what could be all of these various outcomes if we found ourselves in certain circumstances. Seavie calls me a worse case scenario person, because I always think of the worst that could happen, so I could prepare myself for the worst. To live one day at a time, knowing that just that is a blessing.

So that's me in a nutshell. This test was really re-affirming to me, to sum up who I am, and who I've become as an independent almost 30 yr old woman.

Keeping Fit

So since I wrote last, I bought myself a handy dandy digital scale 2 weeks ago that measures muscle/fat percentages, calories needed etc. I always swore that I would never buy one, because then I would never want to eat. This was a huge bargain at Aldi for $18, and is as accurate as the expensive one at jazzercise, so I think it was a great investment. I've been weighing myself every Friday morning when I get up to see how much I've lost. This week I've lost 2 lbs, the week before 1 lb. Bringing my total up to 10 lbs lost since the beginning of January. And the happy thing, is that the fat % has dropped by 8.3%. My goal by the end of May is to get to 20% lost. I've also been trying to walk up to Grace's school and back, which is about 1.5 miles round trip +/-. So I'm hoping to walk up there every day when the weather is nice 4 days a week, for 6 miles walked. It's nice because it's extra exercise, but I can't lie and say that my body feels so sore and tired at the end of the week. I do have a lot more energy, and I've been able to fall asleep almost right way, which is a huge thing for me. That's all for my fitness update. The next post will be on our master bedroom reveal. We're painting this weekend (fingers crossed)!