Thrifty Christmas Shopper 2010

This marks the 3rd Christmas in a row that we have had debt free shopping expenses!!! ( See Nov.25,2009 post for more details...) We have 15 people total to shop for, and if we didn't have a budget, we would be in some serious trouble! This year our budget is $150, so it evens out to not more than $10 a person. Some have come in at less, some at a little more, but overall staying under that #. We have been able to do that the last 3 years thanks to some awesome sales and bargain shopping.

This year again, has been all about simplifying. I have been selling a ton of stuff, and donating a fairly equal amount to charity. Spending less on Christmas with more heartfelt gifts, opens up your heart to give to those who are truly in need this season. Whether it be a local food pantry, city union mission, samaritan's purse, etc. It leaves you with more money left to give to where it really counts. I've just started reading about the Advent Conspiracy Organization, and I love the concept- of keeping the focus on Christ, and keeping it simple.

I know that some of you might not be comfortable shopping at thrift stores-like my 2 favs- turnstyles and salvation army. I'll be the first to admit that when I was younger, I thought only poor, homeless people shopped there, and refused to ever visit. Seriously. So if some of you are thinking about where to do some of your holiday shopping, would you rather give money to giant corporations-who might not even recognize or celebrate "Merry Christmas", or would you rather buy things from someone on CL who has a true need for the extra $; or from a thrift store, where anywhere from 85-100% of the proceeds go direcly to help families that are in need and hurting during this season. Then you get the dual benefit on finding awesome deals, and helping someone in need at the same time.

Just for curiosity sake, I went through and added up how much had been spent at the 2 main thrift stores, plus about 4 other ones we don't frequent as much from the last 3 years. The results were shocking to me. It came in just over $1550.00 . I'm not putting this on here to brag, but merely to show an example of where you'd rather be spending your $. I have a hard time sometimes, when our budget can be tight, wanting to give more but there doesn't seem like enough to make a difference. By shopping at these stores, getting items that we needed anyways-generally clothes (for the kids and seavie), books, toys, household things. The proceeds are going to help people in dire need of assistance in our communities. Even choosing to donate things to your local thrift store, can bring in revenue to help those in our community. Even choosing to buy 2nd hand things from people on craigslist which a lot of times can be practically new, can be a great way to save money. Just in the last few weeks I've talked to several craigslisters that have lost jobs, or been laid off. And so they're trying to make ends meet. That can also be an indirect way to help people in need.

I also love selling unused stuff around our house on craigslist. My motto now is, if it's not being used, then it's either being donated, given to a friend in need, or sold. It is pretty much at bare essentials now. The kids closets seem practically empty, which I'm totally okay with. It reduces the clutter in the house-less to clean up after, all the way around. Selling old toys/games etc. of the kids, gives $ to use towards their Christmas presents this year. Selling random stuff around the house helps pay off unexpected bills, especially medical bills. Since I'm not working, it's really been a great source of income to help provide for our family. And the biggest bonus is, it helps us stay out of debt, and working towards paying off house debt.

On the flip side of selling/donating all this stuff around the house, it helps keep me from being materialistic. Not that I every really was (except in high school), but that if I had to walk away from everything, I would be totally okay with it. That I don't own anything that isn't worth parting with. Just give me the family pictures and memory boxes, and I'm totally okay with that. I know it's a crazy mentality to have in this culture today, but less is more for me. Just enjoying the simple things in life.

**If any of my friends reading this are blessed to have dual family incomes, or a hubby that makes a generous salary, then that's awesome. We've been pretty much living on a very modest income since we got married almost 9 years ago, and it has been rough at times, but I'm so thankful that I can look back at how our mindset has completely shifted in the last few years, especially when times have been tough, and seen God provide, and allow for me to find creative ways to give to my families and friends.**

Through Children's Eyes

This is a topic that has been on my heart a lot lately. Really it started back in early August when we stopped into a town so Grace could see her dear friend "A", who moved away last summer. This little girl was the sweetest little girl-bursting with life and energy, when we greeted her at the door of her new house, it was a different story. She was still happy, but her spirit had changed. I don't know if it's a home life issue or what, but a definite change. It made me a little sad for her that she had to grow up in this situation. She has a mom and dad who love her and 2 younger siblings.

Then in late September, Grace had her 8th B'day party for her friends of hers from school to come over. One of her friends had asked if her older sister could come with her, who is 9 or 9 1/2. I said that was fine, since Grace kind of knows her. This little girl was very sweet, but I could sense that something was different. She seemed a little reserved, even though she was totally content to talk away while all the other girls were playing. The stories she had to tell me all had a common theme, stories of how as a toddler, or young child she got hurt, at home, by some accident, that didn't seem to be the fault of the parents, but that she seemed to dwell on these things. I got the chance to talk to her a little about her home life, and what she thought about things.

Then just the other day there was a group of little kids that live down the street from us playing out at the intersection in front of our house. One little african american boy had a 2 liter sprite bottle that he was carrying around, and drinking, which may seem innocent enough to the passer by. But the very first image that popped into my head was that he was trying to drink it in the same mannerism as he had possibly seen someone close to him drink a 40 oz. It saddened me deeply. There is a large group of kids that live down the street from us, in that same area that I won't let the kids play. I've heard that a lot of that area is Section 8 housing, which may or may not be true. But there is a common theme, that a lot of them live in poverty, and many from single parent households, and more often than not, the parents are paying attention to these kiddos and are just letting them out on the street to do whatever. We've had issues before with groups of older kids from that area, with a bb gun incident as well as loitering. But these little kids down the street are probably pretty harmless. It made me think that they're no different than the families that I serve with all my heart at the crisis pregnancy center, that could be in similar life circumstances.

I guess I'm having a mentality shift of sorts. I'm torn between being a protective parents of my 2 kiddos, but also wanting to reach out to these kids who are need of desperate positive attention.
I'm sure a lot of you have heard me complain about some of these kids, who have no boundaries, and parents leave them home alone, etc. and how I feel so burdened having them as neighbors. I mentioned to a friend at church a while back about this situation, and she said, "Well maybe God is calling you to serve them as your ministry." and I really all but laughed at her, because I had just been so irritated with these kids. I know 100% for sure that I am living where I'm at for a reason. God has made that perfectly clear through many things. Now, it's just a continuation of what my complete purpose may be.

It must be the counselor part of me, wanting to reach out and help everyone in need. I've always been a good listener, and really good at reading people through verbal and non-verbal clues. Being a counselor the last 6 years, I've come to know a lot of different people and situations. These young children, Grace's friends reaching out to me, I feel like they need someone to help them as well. I don't think they're being abused, but I do think there is a huge difference in growing up in a family that loves and cares for their children vs. a dysfunctional family, or that maybe doesn't grow up in a Christian home. And I know I have friends and family who have grown up in all different types of backgrounds, and I'm not judging anyone's parents or upbringing, because I know we all have parts of our past that are hard to deal with.

So with all this said, what I'm trying to lead up to is that the topic of Foster Care and Adoption has been on my heart a lot lately. With different friends adopting babies from Ethiopia, to people at church doing foster care. This past Sunday morning it was mentioned at church, then that night on CSI, someone had grown up in foster care. So I prayed Sunday night for God to show me a sign, or to open my heart about this subject. Then Monday morning, I came across a fb update about how November is adoption awareness for churches. And then later that night another tv show, where the main person grew up in foster care. Tuesday morning, Braden says to me out of the blue, " Mommy, you're only Grace and I's mommy right?, You're not anyone else's mommy are you?" And I told him no, I'm only you and Grace's mommy. Lots of signs right?

Since we're not able to have anymore children, unless God decides otherwise, it makes me a little sad for our decision to not have anymore kids. We were in a financial mess then and under a tremendous amount of stress, and strain on our relationship. Throwing another child in the mix wouldn't have been the best thing. I don't know if it's more that Braden's 4 now, and Grace was 4 when I had him, that it seems like at that age, it's when I'm more mentally ready to even think about the idea. How fun it could be for them to have a brother and/or sister.
I've looked through many local adoption sites, that have children that are waiting to be adopted in foster care. Some are sibling sets. Earlier this year, a God thing happened. A woman from my church needed a new place to live, and the duplex across the street was available, and so she and her adopted son moved in. She's had a rough time with stuff going on since then, but she told me she knows God has a reason for her living there. She also used to be a foster parent. I've asked her to speak with me next week about the foster care process, from her point of view. I've heard some really negative things about one adoption agency, and I know that everyone has different experiences etc. I'm so glad that she's there as someone to talk to about this potential process.

The biggest thing for me is that if we were to go through with it, it would be a huge change for our family, adding another child or 2 in there, to live part time or permanently with our family. That just now when I'm gaining freedom with only 1.5 yrs til Braden starts Kindergarten, that I could potentially be sacrificing what we've been used to and having a whole new life experience. Most likely the children would be older, for a boy, not older than 6, and for a girl not older than 9 or 10, so they could be close in age to the kids. And really most of the kids in the foster care system are past the baby and toddler stage, and are in a state of limbo until they find a new home.

One of my best friends in HS was adopted, and I have 3 cousins who were adopted, and so I know that those situations can work. I just have to find out where God is calling me to in all of this, whether to do community outreach to those hurting in our own neighborhood, or whether it's potential foster care, or adoption. In the midst of that, I had thought of going back to get my Nursing degree in a few years, and now it's torn again with getting a Master's in Social Work. The same 2 things that I was torn between when I went off to college 11 years ago. Two fields of study, that my dad told wouldn't make any money, and that it wouldn't be a good idea. Being naive and stupid listened to him (since he was paying for my schooling) instead of listening to my heart. My heart has been telling me these last 6-7 years that that's where I need to be. Working with a non-profit, or helping people in need. My heart just aches for these people in our community, and the children that sometimes fall by the wayside that need love and affection.

Playing again

Not that I ever stopped playing the piano, but now I get to be a part time accompanist at c.b.s for my sweet friend Gina who is the worship leader there. She asked me yesterday if I'd play this morning, and I said yes. I used to get nervous playing in front of people, but my nerves were totally calmed and it was so great to be doing it again. Piano is one of three huge passions of mine, the others, photography, and singing are the ones I need to start doing again. Or at least on a more regular basis.

8 months...

Until my birthday silly! So I have a little less than 8 months until I turn the big 3-0! In the midst of that, doing a lot of self reflection. One of my biggest goals to accomplish, that may seem like a trivial thing is to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday.

For those of you who don't know I was around that weight through college, until a few years before Braden was born, I had gained maybe 50 lbs or so, then add prego weight, and it was up to 70 lbs heavier. So after B was born, the 70 lbs came off super fast, and I kept it all off till about 2 yrs ago. Which isn't too bad. Obviously I haven't gained it all back, but am working on getting it back down. I was down to a size 8, which for me was great, because I seemed to always be a 10. I'd love to be an 8 again. So I love jazzercise, and I'm mostly to blame because I was doing a great job with it, and then got super busy over the last few years, or didn't want to go, because Seavie was working, and so other things got in the way. One of my things to re-prioritize was to get myself back in shape, and going to work out starting at 3-4 times a week, and hopefully make it up to 5 days a week to workout. I have a free membership, since I do childcare, so there's no excuse for me why I shouldn't take full advantage of it. I'm trying to get Seavie to join in on the weight loss challenge too. I actually suggested that we both lose that weight by the time of our 10 yr wedding anniversary in 1.5 yrs, so we can both look good going on a cruise or whatever it may be to celebrate. So here's to goal #1....

The Beauty of God's Creation

I love nothing more than seeing the beauty in God's creation. Fall is my favorite season. I love the leaves changing color, the strong winds, thunderstorms. Reminds me of God's power and might. Lately there have been the most amazing sunrises and sunsets. My camera phone is full of pictures of these. Taken while in the car, or out at the grocery store. They have the most amazing views. It's a reminder to me in the midst of all the daily craziness, that our God is an amazing Creator, and he's there with daily reminders of his love. I can't wait for that final day when Jesus comes back, and the clouds blazing in all their glory.

I have seen 3 rainbows in the last few months. More than I've ever seen in years. And every time we see a rainbow, Braden shouts out, "a rainbow is a promise from God, that he'll never flood the earth again." He's been learning that at his c.b.s. group. The first rainbow was actually the most beautiful full double rainbow. I made Seavie stop the car off the highway so I could get a picture. It was breathtaking! The second rainbow came as I was listening to my favorite station GenX radio, and they happened to be playing, "It's the end of the world as we know it...." I thought that was kind of an ironic thing, not that it's the end of the world yet, but the state our world is in, that God is always, and still in control. And he chose to comfort us with a rainbow, letting his presence be known that he cares for us.

I hope for my friends that in the midst of life's business that you take time and soak in all the moments of God's glory through his creation.

Thy Daily Bread

.....Give us this day, our daily bread.....

For those of you who know me well, you know that I absolutely love bread. If I had to choose anything to live on, it would be bread. I love nothing more than a freshly baked italian loaf of bread from the store.... yum!!! So every time I eat this bread, I always have the same revelation. It's not that mind blowing, but it always makes me think the same thing. That the word of God, is often compared to being our daily bread and sustenance. Something we crave and yearn for and can't get enough of. This is what I think of while eating bread-but I always feel convicted that I should be feeling that same passion and craving for the word of God, that it should fill me up spiritually.

September in Review

I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote last, until my dear friend Katy reminded me :)
September has been a busy month!!!

*It started off with Braden starting pre-school 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hrs at at time. His cousin as well as a friend of his from church are also in his class. He attends a different pre-s than Grace did, which has been a good change. They have a bible based curriculum, which I was really excited about, and he's in a class with all older 3's and young 4's, so there's not a giant age difference.

*Grace went to her first skating party of this school year. She did a little bit better, but is still totally content to hang on to the side of the wall with the railing and go around that way. Where as Braden put the skates on and took off, very adventurous. So I know they will probably be polar opposites when sports are involved.

*Grace started her first all Ballet class this month. She had done combo classes of tap/ballet/tumbling the last 3 years, and is now old enough that she got to choose her favorite, and she chose ballet. She loves dance, and it's been really good for her.

*Grace got tested for her reading again this year in school, and tested on the 4th grade reading level as a 2nd grader. Last year as a 1st grader, she tested on 3rd/4th grade level. They want her to read up to several grade levels ahead to keep challenging her so she can increase her vocabulary etc. We are so thrilled for her!

*The kids also started back at awana's and are loving it. I did awana's growing up from 3rd-5th grade and had a blast. It's nice that they can be in the same activity and learn more bible stories and verses as well as have fun. The plus side of them both being there, is that it gives Seavie
and I, a date night every week for 1 1/2 hours. Something we haven't had the luxury of in a very long time. So for the next 5 years we have that to look forward to :)

*Braden celebrated his 4th B'day just 2 weeks ago. My little man is growing up too fast. He's all boy-can't resist digging in the dirt and making mud; stomping in puddles; you name it, he loves it. He loves to dress himself, and his outfits don't always match, but he's so proud of himself. He really only likes to eat the same thing every day for lunch-cheese quesadilla's with ranch dip and applesauce.

*We went to the local S.Festival in town a few weeks ago, which is our annual tradition. The kids got to do pony rides, crafts, ride the paddle boat with me, get free sno cones, and look at some fun crafts. We all had a blast, and it was great time together with just our family.

*Braden and I are back at cbs. And I'm currently studying the book of Revelations, which has been great so far. B has his own kids class where they learn a bible story and have a lesson every week. This is my 6th year there. For B, it's practically like an extra day of pre-school :)

*Last weekend our family had the fun time of riding with my father in law in their town parade, since he's a councilman. The kids got to toss candy as we were driving, and it was absolutely hilarious. My nephew would toss it out, and then say, "you're welcome", or toss it at their face. Lots of candy ended up in the car, so we had to help them toss it out. Seavie and I got to ride in the 3rd row seat, or as we jokingly called it, the "rumble seat". Don't worry we kept it PG :)
After the parade, the kids got to do carnival rides and decorate pumpkins. It was a fun day!

*I'm so excited for all the fall shows to be back. My absolute favorites are: Chuck (still a little sad he cut his hair), Castle, Parenthood, Big Bang Theory (which we just started last season, but it's hilarious), 30 Rock, Office, The Mentalist, and Amazing Race. We also like CSI:Miami and NY, but I can only watch them when it's not too graphic. Comedies are my favorite, but I like the shows that make you think as well.

That about wraps up the month of September for our family. Stay tuned for posts about Grace's 8th B'day coming this weekend, and our annual trip to the Apple Festival.

Back to School Week

It's been a busy first week around our house, as Grace started her 2nd Grade year on Monday. She met her teacher for the first time last Thursday. She was a little disappointed that she didn't get the teacher she wanted, but it was made up for by the fact that she has a lot of her good friends in her class, sits on the front row, and is right by all the chapter books.

Grace and Braden were getting used to being together, and now that they're apart, they had a rough day the other day getting used to each other again. We'd be out running errands and she would mention something to him, that she knew I wouldn't let him do, like ride the horse, or have gum, or share a toy etc. They would not stop arguing. Luckily it was a beautiful day outside and they spent a few hours playing in the backyard being nice to each other.

I also officially enrolled Grace in her first true Ballet class. She has done combo dance classes of tap/ballet/tumbling the last 3 years, but now that she's almost 8, she got to choose, and she wanted to be a ballerina. She is so thrilled to be big stuff.

They both went to the Dentist on Tuesday, and were so excited. I've never seen kids that love going to the Dentist more than they do. They were talking about which flavor of toothpaste they wanted-Braden got cherry, Grace got c.c. cookie dough. And then they each got a toy from the treasure chest. No cavities all the way around, so that was great news. Miss G is going to be in desperate need of braces in another year or two-but I'm holding out hope that she can wait until I'm working again and we don't have to go into debt over it.

Yesterday they got to spend the afternoon with their Great Grandma. Which has been at tradition the last 7 years. She will be starting radiation treatments next week to treat her breast cancer, so she won't be seeing the kids for about 6 weeks or so. They are always so happy to see her-they go on a walk when it's nice, and get a cookie and popcorn, and then play in the backyard.

Grace has had a great first week at school and has met new friends and is thrilled for school lunches-something I'm sure she won't love forever. She gets to play on the big kids playground for 2nd-6th graders, and thinks she's big stuff. She's still reading her chapter books, and will be continuing her accelerated reader program this year. With Seavie being home more in the mornings, he's helped me be a better mom, by getting me up by 7:15-7:30 each morning, so we can all eat breakfast together as a family, before she goes to school and he goes to work. I'm adjusting pretty well, and have been a nicer mom to be around. I don't feel as rushed, and she gets to school on time, actually early. (I say that now, but wait to talk to me on a day that I get stuck behind the train-that's a huge patience tester). It's been great for that extra family time. We all even rode together to drop Grace off for her first day of school. She's Miss Independent. No tears from this mom, she's a big girl now. But Mr.B starts pre-school in a few weeks, and I know that will be hard to let my little man go.

County Fair and Rodeo..... and Dakota

This weekend we headed back down to P-town to head to the local county fair and rodeo. It's become another one of our family traditions and the kids just love it. We left Friday night, thinking we'd be going to the carnival that night, but it was too hot and so we just hung out at the house.

We also brought with us 2 doggies to my parents farm, Dakota (see previous post) and my sister in law's dog Kacie-a yellow lab. Dakota had actually been doing much better not getting on my nerves, but lately she and Oreo just hadn't been getting along. Kacie had been with her owners for the last 6 years, and was the 2nd of two dogs, that were just needing some space. So now my parents have 4 dogs total. Dakota was pretty freaked out the first night, she ran down the road about 1/4 mile, and Seavie had to go get her. When she calmed down and realized this was her new home she did much better. She gets to eat like royalty, and can roam wherever she pleases. We also discovered that she is a super fast runner. We left the house a few times over the weekend, and she took of barking after the car, and we clocked her at 20 mph. Each time she would stop at the next farm over and head back home. Kacie is a water dog, and found my parents pool and jumped right in the first night, and was content finding her new spot to sleep under the front porch.

So Saturday we hung out at the house, and my sister and her husband came down as well. We had lots of good conversation. Saturday morning we took the kids into town and went to the local Library to pick out some books. Then we stopped by my "dream home" (see previous post last summer) that actually tragically burned completely to the ground a few months ago. I was devistated. It was a beautiful 3000 sq.ft.+ Queen Anne Victorian, beautiful woodwork, stained glass, pressed tin ceiling- and was all destroyed from an electrical fire. Seavie, Mr. Practical said good thing we didn't buy that house, or we'd be out of a home. So after driving by where the beautiful home once stood, took the kids to the local park, which is in the town square, with gazebo and all. And while my mom and I were chatting on the gazebo, Grace decides to try out the monkey bars (which were about 7' in the air) all by herself, and she's never successfully made it across. She slipped and wiped out on the gravel/rock base that was below the playground. Who thought that was such a great and safe idea for a kids playground anyways? So it knocked the wind out of her, and she got some major gravel burn. We ended up taking her to the Dr. there to make sure she was okay, nothing broken, but still a little sore.

Saturday night we headed to the Fair. We had the most yummy dinner made by the local church ladies- Chicken and Noodles on Mashed Potatoes, baked beans, green beans and homemade apple pie. It was delicious! After that the kids were ready to go on the rides, and their nice grandparents got them arm bands, so they could go on unlimited rides. And go on unlimited rides they did. They both went on a mini-rollercoaster and loved it; carousel; carpet slide; fun house, this list goes on and on. Sweet Braden told me that he wished these rides could be in our backyard to play on whenever we wanted, and I told him I agreed that would be a lot of fun. The rodeo was fun to watch-cowboys wrangling cows and barrel racing. Even got to see a dancing horse. The kids did even more rides after the rodeo, and were out like a light as soon as they got in the car, they were so exhausted.

Sunday morning we went to church with my parents again, and got to have fun with small town worship. They had the youth band singing/playing, and they were in desperate need of some help to stay on pitch and couldn't sing harmony. My dad was less than thrilled, starting joking about it, which made me laugh. I really miss CRCC worship! I ran into a college friend that lives down in P-town and got a chance to catch up with her, so that was fun as well. We stayed for lunch and then headed back home, after another long weekend with the family.

Five Love Languages

We just finished up reading this book for our small group at church, and it was a lot of fun. I was amazed that when Seavie and I took the quiz we actually got 20/30 same answers. So our love languages are pretty similar, but I think it also helps that we've known each other almost 12 yrs. I don't know what we'd do if we weren't so compatible. We met a lot of other nice couples in our class that we didn't know previously, and it was a little entertaining to hear all their fun stories.

Through this study, it's also been interesting observing others relationships, mainly our parents. Spending a week with the in-laws and then 2 weekends in a row with the parents, can definitely be a test of patience for both of us. We love our parents dearly, but are also so glad for some space.

This year more than any other, I've come to notice those little quirks and temperments of our parents. Things I like, or can't stand. Take my parents-my mom is generally quiet, and rarely one to raise her voice. My dad gets upset when the house isn't clean, or lunch or dinner isn't ready on time. Growing up I butted heads with my dad-I'm very stubborn and strong willed, and wasn't about to be told what to do, when I disagreed. Basically I didn't back down about the things that I felt so strongly about. I'm still like that today :) So my dad's upset that dinner isn't ready and my mom starts getting all nervous. I tell my mom, "why don't you tell him to make it himself- you're not the only one who knows how to cook in the house," and I also made a point to tell her that if Seavie ever dared to talk to me like dad does to her, that he knows that I would probably smack him. My mom gave me the funniest look-like would I really treat my husband that way. My mom isn't a doormat, but I've never heard her make her opinion known. So I'm sharing this with my new small group, as well as how I can't stand controlling men(which my dad isn't-he just has a temper) and with clients who have boyfriends that way, and the leader said, "do you think that has something to do with how you were raised and your relationship with your dad?" and it totally made sense. My dad was never abusive-just a bad temper and lots of yelling-a little intense at times. I love my dad. I told my mom I can't wait to see them both together 24/7 after they retire, and see how much more loving they'll be too each other. Bold comments from me that day, I'd never said anything like that to her before. But it's the truth.

On the in-law side, I'm not a fan of critical attitudes. Or critical people in general. Having a critical spirit can totally steal your joy. Not that they are critical all the time, whether they mean to or not, it just happens. I'm not as patient with this criticalness as I used to be. I used to brush it off, but now it's a little irritating. I'm not a child at almost 30, so I don't need all these issues picked apart anymore. If they have something critical to say, it would be better to keep it to themselves.